Living in Sin

1

This Oklahoma heat was no joke and when the history books called this place a 'dust bowl'
Well, They weren't kidding.
This is the kind of heat with no air and no moist in the wind And I wonder if this is what hell felt like? Ha

But I keep pushing my feet forward not letting hell on earth stop me from my runs . Running always gave me a sense of freedom, a liberation that was taken from me more ways than one.

And growing up the oldest took it away but replaced with the pain of responsibility.
Locked in a place of my own personal hell of prison running was sense of escape.

Just a kid handling all the grown up shit not to mention I became a dad to my younger brothers. It was always the same, 'Georgie I need this and that.' To top it off we were only months apart.

I pushed my body harder and faster trying to erase the beginning of my miserable life  hoping the sweat will hide the tears I really want to shed. But I couldn't even remember when was the last time I cried.
Oh shit.
I was too small of kid to remember the only person who was supposed to take us away from this shit hole. But he was six feet deep when he was supposed to have our six.
Pieces of scattered memories only seem too embedded in my mind like his smile, big bright blue eyes, and that blonde wavy hair.
I was only a kid when he died and all I remembered looking at my little brothers as tears dropped from their eyes as my mother screamed to stop our cowardly ways.

I can honestly say that's when things took a turn for the worse. Teddy just started school and James was hadn't been walking too long when he left us alone with mama and Clinton.

Clinton -what was there say about this man, he defines everything that was wrong in this world with his one-way track thinking of white supermicist . There was a time when his hate soaked into my pores I felt it too, that's when I pack my bags and left the trailer park for good.

Being away left me in the dark with James graduation and the fact that Teddy is gay. I was selfish to leave them but I had my own problems to deal with. See the thing is, I know you will judge me but I don't care. Why the fuck should I?

No one said this was going to be fucking easy, no one said the Parkers Boys were going to be the easy bunch to get along with.
Fuck, I know I wasn't.

The day I decided to save my brother was the day I had to sell my soul to the Devil and his devils' spawn. What the fuck did I do?

Not a damn thing if I wanted my family and myself to live.

'Fuck, I just hit the third mile, six more to go.'

I guess I should tell you how the devil now owns me, see they say Indian casinos are only run by the Indians but what happens when a perfect land isn't prospecting the way it should?

Easy

You make a pact with the devil and pray he won't take everything and your soul.

Revise 8/23'