she's my princess

you love me, not him

C H A P T E R  F O R T Y - F I V E

"Why we going on this show, Daddy?" Carter mumbled, watching as Nolan knelt down in front of her and buckled her into her first class seat. "Why we not take daddy's jet?"

Nolan smiled up at his daughter, leaning forwards to kiss her nose when she was buckled in safely, "Daddy's jet is in repairs and this show is very important because I'm going to introduce you to everyone."

Carter nodded, her small lips pulling into a small 'o' before watching as Nolan buckled himself in. "Daddy think they'll like me?"

Nolan smirked, "I'll hurt them if they don't."

Carter giggled, rolling her eyes slightly as she turned to look out at the window at her side.

<< o >>

Abbie couldn't control her rapid breathing as she slowly walked towards her apartment door. She knew who stood behind it and it sent her heart into over drive. She didn't know why he was here and if it was for what she thought it was...but it was bad fucking timing.

How could he come here when he knew everything was going perfect with James? Maybe he knew that she'd jump into his arms without a second thought.

She hated that he could get her so easily but she couldn't blame him. It was all her.

Her heart stayed with him whether she liked it or not.

She wasn't sure if she should open for him because she knew that when the door opened, she wouldn't have any rational thought. Because the minute she saw Porter's face, he was all that mattered.

The handle of the door taunted her, screaming at her to make a decision but she knew everything in her wanted to open that door but she shouldn't.

She didn't want to hurt James, not ever. He was the perfect guy. He kissed her hands when he held them, he kissed her cheek when she blushed and wrapped his arms around her shoulders when she was cold.

But he wasn't her perfect guy.

He didn't make her heart race when he sent her teasing winks like Porter did. He didn't make her hands sweat when he whispered in her ear like Porter and he didn't have her heart like Porter did.

And before she could even blink, the door was open and Porter was staring down at her with those pretty brown eyes of his as if she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen and Abbie almost chocked on her breath. He'd never looked at her like that.

Why was her looking at her like that?

"Hey." Her voice was soft, and all she'd been doing was standing there yet she was out of breath. Her chest raising rapidly as she stared up at her brother's best friend.

He took a step forward, jaw clenching when Abbie jumped back as if she was scared if he got any closer, he'd hurt her.

"What are you doing here?" Abbie asked, cursing mentally when she her voice came out shaky.

Porter licked his lips and Abbie gulped.

"I...I wanted to see you."

Abbie rose an eyebrow, "You've never wanted to see me before."

Porter chuckled, shaking his head as he watched Abbie pop her hip out and narrow her blue eyes at him. "Ok...I saw you and James on your little date."

"It wasn't a little date, we're serious."

Porter rose an eyebrow, she seemed to be trying to convince herself and him. "You wouldn't have let me in if you were serious." Porter shot back and was surprised when Abbie rolled her eyes.

"You're one of my brother's best friends, Porter. Not some random guy."

Porter bit his lip, "That's all I am?"

This was it. Either she confessed or denied everything she's ever felt for the man in front of her. "Porter..."

He took a step forward, suddenly scared she'd deny he was so much more to her. He knew he was and he wanted to hear her say it. "Don't lie."

Abbie's eyes snapped up to meet his and she scowled, "Why the fuck would you come here when you know the answer?! I'm with James, Porter!"

Porter growled, "You don't want to be with him, Abbigail. You love me, not him!"

"What? So now because I'm with someone you want me?"

Porter immediately shook his head, "I've always wanted you."

Abbie glared up at him, hating what he was doing. "Don't lie. You've never wanted me! I was there, waiting for you and you didn't care! You're dated, slept with every girl you saw while I was just there and you expect me to believe that! That you want me?"

Porter gulped, hating himself even more then he did as he watched Abbie glare up at him as if she hated him. Eyes blood red as she tried to keep tears from escaping. "Abbie, I did that to protect you."

"What? You slept with girls to protect me? You were hurting me! You think I was happy when you kissed other girls in front of me.

"Nolan—"

"I don't give a fuck about Nolan! This is about me and you!"

"I was scared, ok?"

That shut Abbie immediately and she looked up at Porter confused as he tugged at his brown hair before looking down at Abbie. This was it, telling her everything. Why he didn't commit to her, why he didn't allow his feelings for her to show.

"I've never been good with girls and when I realized that I felt something for you, I got scared. You weren't just any girl, Abbie. You were so much more to me and I thought that if something went wrong...I didn't want to hurt you. I was so scared I'd disappoint you and that I'd break your heart and I know it's sounds stupid. But I thought that if I denied my feelings for you, we'd never get hurt and I guess that backfired. I hurt you everyday because I was scared to commit to you and I'm so sorry. I know it's an asshole move but I don't want anyone to have you—"

"So I'm supposed to be alone forever because you can't handle me being with anyone—"

Porter took another step forward, so close he could feel her warmth through his thin shirt. He so badly wanted to reach out and touch her but stayed put.

"I'm not scared anymore, Abbie."