Nowhere

XXXV - Thirty five

•Duri•

I kissed him. I didn't want to believe I did. When I pulled back from his cheek I could tell he was red, he was blushing like he was getting made fun of. He stares at me for a while longer, "Duri..." his voice soft and concerned at the same time. "Uh," I hum, his face still close to mine I couldn't stop myself from blushing also. The kiss was so warm I even felt comfort. "Sorry- I forgot I- I was- I-" I wasn't sure what to say, I was at a loss of words but before I could stutter more useless words his hand caresses my bruised cheek which made me move back for a second. "It's okay, seriously." I didn't believe his words. I grab his hand and pulled it away, "I... just wanted to... thank you.... for caring...", his lips turn into a warm smile, "Why wouldn't I care? You're my boyfriend!"
I almost choke when I hear the innocent words of boyfriend, I never felt so hot in my life, my palms got sweaty and I tapped my foot onto the floor. I totally forgot that we were a thing, it always past my mind because I didn't care - well, I didn't want to care but all a sudden his words kissed me, although, in reality, it didn't. "O-oh," I stutter, he gives off a chuckle and stands up with my hands in his, I slowly stand myself up and stared up at him. "Let's get a bandage on your face, okay?", he says like a mom, I shake my head, "I said it's fine," he didn't really listen to me though, his eyes moving to the road in front of him, "But it's not fine with me, someone hit you with their bag! - careless people.", He shakes his head, again, like a mom. "B-but-", "Let's go to my house! I have extra clothes if you need any... you look beat up..." he was right, I had dirt all over my shirt and my pants even though I don't remember falling into the dirt. I couldn't even imagine how I smelt, maybe horrid. "Your house?" I question and he nods like no big deal, "Parents are busy, YoungJae's probably at school unless he's skipping."
Without hesitation we started to walk side by side, his hand always glazing my fingers as we stepped on the sidewalk, a comfortable silents growing between us as we walk slowly till I speak, "Do you guys - before you came here - like, skip and do all the stuff you do now?", "Well, yeah! Why not? I've always hung out of school, skipped it, I've done a lot of bad things. If my parents found out, ever, I'd be toast." He was just so nice looking, it hurt. I envied him, his happiness. "How are you so good at lying..?" I ask him, I could tell he clenched his shirt tightly and looked at me with a sorrow expression, "Well... I'm not really good at it, my parents could tell right away and my closest friends could too," "How do you know I'm lying?" I question but he doesn't come up with a fast response, he stays quiet for a moment till he exhales and says, "Cause... a sweet face like yours... gets all bitter when you lie. It must just be me, but all the time you've said you were okay I could tell your fingers start tapping - either it's the air or desk, without you noticing." Wow.
"And your voice gets all deep like you have something stuck in your throat, I almost could feel your heartbeat against mine.", Could that be real? He's paid so much attention to me it didn't seem like he was lying, not at all. "That's why... I want you to trust me." He stares into my eyes which looked up at him with a glossy coat, he continues, "I don't want to see your bitter face again.", his words crushed me. I couldn't help myself from gripping his palm and engulfing them into mine, the warmth of his sensitive skin started to quiver within me. I look away from his gaze and sigh, my face red and maybe my teeth into my lip like I was anxious, I was. "Is it just me or... when I'm with you everything seems to go away, your eyes, your voice, your everything makes everything around us disappear.", "Yeah..." it sounds like I didn't add much thought to it although I did, it was horrible, the feeling was suffocating and bliss filled the air between us.
"...But then again it feels like hell and you just want to wash it off..." I think I got carried away but the feeling of angst hit me like a brick, "then your lungs don't catch air and your head gets so dizzy you might as well fall asleep, then your heart hurts... then when all those feelings go away, everything starts to come back... the pain starts to grow back on you like that blissful feeling doesn't like you. or something like that, it just hurts. A lot." I looked up at him again, his eyes watery and tears making its way down his flawless face, "Wh-" I was about to speak but he pulled me closer all a sudden, "What Can I say..?" He questioned but I don't know if it was for me, "You know me so well..." he whispers into my ear, I could feel his shaky breath get heavier and heavier, it was like he was in a panicked state.
"I love you so much." His words always burned, "I..." but I only hesitate to even speak, "I love you too," he returned a relaxed sigh, his arms letting go of my waist and he gives me a happy expression, "My house is an hour away if we walk so let's get our cardio!" He flew off topic, I look at him, "uh.." collecting myself and nodding again, but to mostly myself, "Sure,"

•

He pulls me further, making me stumble on my own two feet as I chase his drift, "Almost there!" He shouts in a singsongy tone as I pant behind, "M-my legs hurt...", I murmur as he starts to slow down. "Same here - oh! I almost forgot!" He gasps turning his face towards mine, his red hair swaying from his forehead as the breeze hit him lightly, "About... your arms..." what? It took a turn before I knew it, I hear my own breath hitch, "What about it?" I question trying to sound natural but my voice sounds shaky and unsure. "Nothing. last time I grabbed your arms and you flinched back, I had a feeling something was wrong and I didn't ask you-" I made sure my finger didn't tap into my thigh and I made sure I didn't move my eyebrows in a sad or mad expression.
"I'm fine, I promise." I pull my pinky towards his face, he stares at me with curiosity then slowly placed his pinky near mine and smiled, "Okay..." he hums. I'm all lies... nothing's true. But I wish I could say that out loud so he could trust me, just a little bit, so he could protect me but... I'm all lies.

To be continued...