Nowhere

XXV - Twenty five

•Yugyeom•

Couldn't it be less cold out? All I wore was a band T-shirt and ripped jeans and converses. I walked with a mask on to make sure I wouldn't get discovered walking around the street alone. I was determined to get Duri to let up what he's holding, all I want to do his help him. Turning to my right I was inching closer to his apartment complex. When I got there I opened to door to see the same old lady who greeted me, not aware who I was, she only glances at me then back down at her Tv show that was playing on the laptop she sat in front of. I turn to the stairs and make my way up carefully so the wood wouldn't creak. The smell was odd but it wasn't bad. I shook my head dismissing the cruel thoughts in my head and checked every room door to see if the number matched the number he gave me once before.
When I found it my heart dropped to the floor and anxiety caught me before I could even run away from it. I ball my hand into a fist about to knock on the door but hesitate. What if his dad's there? What happens if he's asleep? I started to question why I was even here. Just to interrogate him? To tell him how I fell? To hug him and that's about it? I was unsure again. I inhaled, gathering the guts to lightly tap the door hearing it echo through the halls. I heard faint rustling from the other side then the doorknob twisted slowly, "Y...yes..?" I heard Duri's sweet voice stutter. I look down knowing he was shorter than me, the door opened a bit exposing the boy with messy hair, his eyes watery and his body trembling as if I scared him.
He was wearing an oversized sweater that had a maroon color to it. I never saw him with anything oversized on him, it seemed a bit odd since he wore stuff that wasn't too baggy, yet not that tight. I stared at him, I hope he didn't think my eyes were boring a hole into him. "Hey, We gotta.. talk." I admit in a slow manner, he stays put for a moment, it felt like hours, "Dad home?" I ask him softly, he shakes his head denying and opening the door more, "Sit down... I guess I'm still getting the guts to try and answer..." he sounds weak as if he stood up all night with no coffee to help him energize but I nod and walked inside, "I know it's hard..." I gave him a sympathetic glance which made him look away, "Hmm..." he hummed, His voice still shaky; it almost sounded like he was about to start sobbing. I heard the door close behind me and I took a seat inside the living waiting till he joined me.
Duri sat down silently, not making a noise, staring at me like he was questioning why I was even here to begin with. But he knew why, even if he didn't want to. "What exactly happened between you and... JaeBum?" JaeBum... his name made me cringe, I watched as Duri's face turned bittersweet, his eyes soft but it had a glare of fear, his body tensing and his lip lightly quivering to the rhythm of the low sound of the heater in the apartment, that's what I call bittersweet. He opened his mouth for a second then shut it, then repeated it a couple of times. "I..." his breath hitches, "I don't know..." it makes my heart throb. "H-he's been touching me..." It looked like he was paranoid, his eyes fixing on every part of the house, the atmosphere darker then the first time
I came.
I didn't speak over him though, I wanted to hear him out because I never did. "The first time-" he cut himself off, I watched as he bit his lip. My eyebrows stitched together, I could feel his pain although I never felt what he's been through.
"First time..?" My voice sounding less confident than I wanted it to but then again I was never confident. I snake my hand to his shoulders pulling him closer, it looked like he was trying to get away from me but I couldn't let him cry alone. "Walking h-home... h-he grabbed me. I-it happened so quickly..! I-if only I was aware I could've done something!... it happened like it never happened..." I looked at him, "What do you mean?" His eyes full of emotion, he played with the tip of his sleeves that were covering his left hand. I could tell he was thinking - remembering the day it happened. I gave him a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder waking him up from his trance. "It happened so quick... he left me like he didn't do anything bad..." I hear him let out a sob.
Before I knew it his hands wrapped around my waist and his head buried itself into my chest, I heard his muffled sobs get more agonizing and torturing. Crying and silents came between us - or even if we had a between at the moment, my arms wrapped around his smaller body tightly. He was so close to me, I felt my heart skip a beat. It felt so warm. "It's okay..." I mutter, leaning my head onto his soft bed hair, I heard him mumble words that weren't clear so I pull away, "What did you say?" His mouth slightly parted, he looks at me, his brown eyes were already red and puffy from a few minutes of crying. "H-He d-did it to me before y-y-y-you came to my h-house." What..? I got tense, I stare at Duri and tighten my grip on him. I could hear him yelp and push me away, "Sorry!" I panicked, blinking my eyes rapidly and looking at him, "I'm so sorry..." I wanted to break down. My head hung low, wrapped my arms under his arms pulling him close.
I place my forehead on his shoulder, "Thank you for telling me..." I say, feeling his heartbeat go fast, I heard his breath get heavy as his hands went to his face to wipe his transparent tears. "You didn't deserve this..." I could feel his body shudder, "w-w-Why're y-you like this..? - l-like... so... nice...to m-me..." I could barely hear him but when I did my cheeks got heated and I lifted my head off him, my eyes soften and I give him a soft smile, grabbing his arm which made him flinch and pull back, "Th-that hurts!" He yells My eyes widened, "S-s-Sorry! I- I just..." I didn't know what to say, I just saw something in him. how could I say that? It made my nerves get knotted together. My hand snaked to his arm but he pulled back again, "I wanted to see if it was okay-", "I-I-it's fine." I didn't continue to speak, I didn't bother to ask him why he stopped me but his mind was clearly not stable - at least for right now. So I let go of his arm.
I just exhale and say, "I really... really like you... as a friend. And for some reason, I don't want to see you sad..." I wanted to slap myself, It definitely wasn't just a friend or brother, it was more. But he still smiled, accepting it, "the-Thank you... really.."
I couldn't stop myself from tearing up so I started to cry, "Please don't cry anymore..." I mutter although I was being the one crying. I grabbed ahold of him and hugged him close. "You know you can always trust me.." his eyes looked at me with confusion and sympathy, I accepted it also. But the moment didn't last long because my phone rang inside my pocket.

To be continued...