No, I wasn't running from Shawn like I did from the past, I was avoiding him on all levels. I didn't want to see him, because I knew the moment I did my heart would flutter and I would fall prey to him again. It wasn't really his fault, he still had this undeniable hold on me, I love him I always will but I needed to learn to love myself before I could ever be fully invested in anyone else on that level.

•••

" My love, my love. What are we going to do to your beautiful hair?" Paul my hairdresser asked as I sat down in the black chair, he messed with my curly hair making me smile at him through the huge glass mirror directly in-front of us.

"I need something new, dramatic and new." I said smiling as he looked over at me through the mirror with wide eyes and a wider smile showing his perfect teeth.

"Oh! Music to my ears baby." He said placing the black apron over my clothing.

•••

December 15,2020

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Love myself, don't need anybody else 💪🏼❤️ #bodypostive

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Love myself, don't need anybody else 💪🏼❤️ #bodypostive

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•••

"I miss my best friend! But I'm so proud of you bitch, your killing it! We saw your photo in Cosmo! I bought like twelve of them, John found it quite hilarious." - Rose

"Thank you! I miss you too, maybe make a stop here and we can catch up?!" - Yvette

"I shall speak to my better half and make a plan! So make sure you have time for me when I come, I know your all Famous and shit now." - Rose

(Laugh) "oh shut up I'll always have time for you!" - Yvette

"Have you and Blank spoken? I seen he has been liking and he commented on your photo, a-bit shady given your caption but I know you." - Rose

"I saw, and no we haven't spoken. Not planning on it. He can like my photos all he wants, i don't care." -Yvette

"You sure?" - Rose

"Half and half. But it's whatever. I haven't had an idea on how he would find me but he's moved on clearly and I'm happy for him." - Yvette

"We don't know if he's moved on now, it's speculation and few blurry photos Yvette. I'm just saying you never know." - Rose

"They are dating, trust me. I know the signs I was on the end remember. But nevertheless I'm happy for him and I hope she makes him all the happiest." -Yvette

"Okay. Okay. Anyways, I shall be coming soon and we shall have a girls week!"- Rose

"Of course. Talk later, I love you!"- Yvette

"Love ya." - Rose

•••

Tonight was one of those nights where I wished I had someone to come home too. It was one of the many downfalls of being single in the city.

But I continued to get comfortable in my sofa and snuggle up in my zebra print throw blanket, with my fuzzy socks and half pint of ice cream and wine. I turned my tv on and started watching sex and city the movie, this was my nightly routine if I wasn't being dragged to events or social gatherings. 

This was my new comfort and I loved it.

Just me, myself and I.

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