Consumed By You |Shawn Mendes|

Reality

Shawn's POV:

I had never walked away from her and I always promised myself that I would never because I know how much that killed me when she did it. But I had to leave before things got much more worst, her saying that last remark really sent me off, I needed to think and clear my mind. 

As I was riding down the elevator I had to calm myself down before going to my car. 

I had never felt like this about any girl I was ever with, not there were that many. The few I had it was always different experiences of course, but Yvette she was different on a whole other level and at first I hated the way I found myself always trying to be with her, needing to know everything with her. 

The first night we hung out together at johns party and I saw her standing with her friend and John I was hypnotized hands down seeing her after all those months in Brooklyn  when I had last saw her. 

She is beautiful, everything about her made her beautiful not just physically. 

Her smile, the way she really focused on people when they talked to her about things even if she didn't fully understand. 

The way she would speak about things she was passionate about the way her eyes would sparkle and how she had this uncontrolled smile that made her eyes chink over.  

She was always so gentle when caring for others, but she always seemed to be battling with herself when she would daydream. It was like she was trying to control herself so badly. After a few times I could notice when she would have those moments and it seemed to be a lot when she was around me. She had to control herself around me?  

If she only knew how crazy nervous she made me,  being near her I always felt like my heart was going to come out of my chest. My controlled demeanor always seemed to just disintegrate around her and I was acting in ways I never did and everyone could see it as well.  when she touched me my body ignited, every single time she kissed me I would melt so hard in her lips. The way she looked at me, wasn't like anyone ever had. She listened to me and she never judged me and she spoke to me without fear of my feelings but she was being real and raw. She was so beautiful in every way that I couldn't pull myself away from staring at her and getting lost in everything that was her. In a short period of time she had this crazy hold  on me without even knowing. It was becoming dangerous because I was becoming consumed by her and my music was showing it, I literally wrote half of  my album wrapped about her. I couldn't focus on anything but her, everything her. That's why I decided to on a break now, I wasn't in the right head space to drop a whole album and do tour and promotion. 

I just wanted Yvette.

She made me thoroughly intrigued and I found myself needing to know more about her. I went all over her Instagram too try to figure out anything about her life. All I had found out was that she loved the LA sunsets, she traveled, she didn't have a lot of photos, a few selfies. I saw some of her videos at my concerts and then the photo of when I first saw her under the Eiffel tower. I remember staring at that photo for almost an hour, looking at her. This was all after I saw her in Brooklyn and that's when I felt that spark so much more then when we were in London before she up and left. 

That's the first of many times she would run away from me, at the second time on the fourth of July I promised myself that I would just forget about her, she was jest another beautiful girl. 

But I couldn't. 

Now here we are six months later and after everything that has happened I never walked away from her till now. 

I felt overwhelmed with everything. 

I wanted her to move not only for my selfish reasoning but because I was really scared as to what might happen to her if I wasn't with her or had her near me. I grew so accustomed to having her with me that just the thought of us being separated by distance again killed me to think about. 

I love her, which was scary for me to admit that but now I felt something different.

I'm IN LOVE  with her, and that shit right there that scared me more then anything in my life right now. 

That's why I needed her to move. But I couldn't just spill my guts like that and scare her off. 

Yvette was such a complex being but I knew why once Rose let slip that she had lost her mother and was literally left alone. That's why I came for her birthday, That's when I knew I loved her. But I knew I was in love with her the night she finally let the walls down and let me in, that's when I saw her for he and I loved every each of her like I never had for any one ever. 

I was selfish and I hated that she called me out my shit, I hated that she didn't want to leave, or that she said no too me. But I also understood where she was coming from but I still didn't like it. 

I stood driving down the freeway with no real destination but I needed to clear my mind and the only place that I knew I could do that was in my music. 

I called Yvette to check on her because I could only imagine all the things running through her mind right now. 

She didn't answer her phone so I left her a voicemail. 

"Hey babe, I fucked up and I'm sorry. I love you Yvette like a lot a lot and I need you to understand that. I'm on my way to the studio ill be back home in a few hours I hope we can talk then. I love you." 

She  must be extremely upset . 

Turn back around and go talk to her and fix this all before it drags out any more then it needs too. 

Just tell her you're in love with her! 

But it isn't gonna change the reality of you're situation. 

She isn't going to leave her life here In LA for you. 

Are you willing to stay in LA for her?