Consumed By You |Shawn Mendes|

Dont Love Me

"I need you to stop pacing around so much, your making me dizzy." I said watching as Shawn literally walked the entire suite of our room for the hundredth time.

He was fuming still from the incident in the car.

"I never get this worked up over anything. I don't lash out like this. Jesus Christ Yvette what are you doing to me?" He mumbled as he kept pacing with his hand pressed to the back of his head.

I wasn't trying to upset him, none of this was planned. I didn't ever want to have to have this conversation with him, I never deemed it possible. But of course Antonio always coming out of nowhere to just shake my world upside down.

How did he even know I was with Shawn?

Internet.

This is why I wanted to be private!

I watched as the guy I'm madly in love with is either about to have a whole nervous breakdown or he's gonna break something else.

"I'm sorry Shawn. I don't know what more I can say to make this better. This was before us, I never would've pictures myself here with you like this in a million years. I never thought these images would be released or shown, I don't even ever remember these." I said trying to calm him down.

I stood sitting at the edge of the love seat that was by the balcony.

"The crazy thing is I should be worried about these getting leaked publicly but all i can this is this guys hands all over you. And it's driving me insane!" He said kicking our suitcases that were standing side by side by the hallway into the suite.

He's jealous?

"How can we prevent this from going public. I already have a restraining order I would contact my lawyer with the photos and him harassing me but you demolished my phone." I said sucking my teeth and tilting my head over looking at him.

He looked at me with such intensity and his jaw was clenched tight. He stopped pacing and he turned to face me. He stood straight and it looked like he grew five inches, his shoulders where tensed.

"I'll deal with it. I already said I'll get you new phone tomorrow." He said his tone was so dark and stern.

"I don't need you to buy me a new phone. I can get my own." I said getting offended.

"Don't start your shit with me Yvette. Not! Right now. After all the shit I have to take it from what you've told me." He said rising his eyebrow at me and giving me a dont test me look.

"Fine. I'm to tired and hungry to go back and forth. I said I was sorry I don't know what more to say. If this is to much for you I completely get it. I can always just leave." I said surrounding and getting up walking towards the table with the room service menu.

Shawn quickly grabbed my waist as I was passing him and he stopped me. His grip tighten around my waist, as I faced away from him and he was on my side. He slowed his breathing and he leaned his face on mines. " I don't want you to leave. I'm just pissed off right now babe." He kissed my temple before letting me go to get back to what I was about to do.

I let out a breath as I grabbed the menu and I sat on the edge of the bed looking through it.

Then I heard the room door close.

He left.

I felt the tears wanting to escape but I didn't allow them. I took the room phone to ear and I dialed room service.

I ordered a cheese burger and fries with a chocolate cake on the side.

As I waited I decided to get comfortable in sweats and Shawn's hoodie and some fuzzy socks. I picked up our suitcases and put them back where they were.

I turned the tv on and I looked for a movie to watch, finally settling on A star is born I tried to get comfortable in the huge bed but I couldn't.

I wanted Shawn here with me.

He was supposed to be here,

But he was very upset clearly and I know he had a lot to take in.

I sighed as I laid in the bed wrapping myself in the blanket watching the movie.

About forty five minutes later, I was eating one half of my cheeseburger and I had already finished half my fries. I was deep into the movie when I let out a huge yawn.

I don't get how people get use to jet lag and time change and airplanes.

I finished the last of my half of burger before I went to the bathroom to freshen up before bed.

I looked at small clock on the counter and it was only 8:30pm but I was way to tired to try to fight it.

I walked back to the bed and I wrapped myself in the huge quilt like blanket and I laid on the bed sideways to watch the tv better.

It must've take me a few minutes before my eyes where shut and I slipped into a deep slumber.

••••

I woke up to the sound of Shawn shuffling to get undress? "Shit." I heard him say trying to be low.

I turned over to face him.

He looked a little drunk?

I drove him to get drunk?

Bang up job there Yvette!

He looked so young in this moment.

"Hey handsome. Whatcha doing?" I said smiling at him as he turned to look at me.

His shirt was off and he was struggling to take his jeans off it seems.

He let out a weak smile before kicking his leg out and then the other.

He stood their in his briefs messing with his hair trying to not appear so drunk.

"I'm a little smashed babe. Not gonna lie." He said walking over and getting on the bed.

"I kinda figured that much. I'm sorry I made you drink like this because of my bullshit." I said opening the blanket more for him to scoot in next to me.

He saw what I was wearing and he smiled looking up at me. "I love this sweater on you. You look sexy." He said pulling me into his chest and gripping my butt.

"Oh yes, your very drunk pop star. Let's lay down I'm sure your seeing at least four of me." I giggled swatting his chest.

"I love you Yvette, and that's by far the most scariest thing for me to admit even to myself." He said pulling me closer to his chest to the point where I can hear his heartbeat.

"Your drunk Shawn. Just let's sleep. You have a busy day tomorrow." I said kissing his chin and resting my head back on his chest.

He hummed a few times as he kissed my hair a few times and inhaling into it. His hands caressed my back as he bear hugged me.

I started falling back to sleep at just the sound of his heart beating in my ear and my hands were playing with his chain.

"I can't feel like this for anyone else, I don't want too. I have this strong need for you that I hadn't had for  someone in a long time. Your different, a good kind of different for me. So yes I love you." He whispered in my ear before kissing me.

"Don't. Please." I said.

"Don't what?"

"Don't love me." I said letting a small tear escape. "I'm not worth it."