Matt Murdock Shorts

Possession II

Matt doesn't know where to go after everything. He can't face his friends or the city he loves so much. He kept the card from that S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He doesn't know if he'll use it. For now, he ends up at his church. His priest takes one look at him and sighs.

"Matthew, do you know what time it is?"

"I'm sorry, father, I need to be here. I understand if you can't take my confession but please don't turn me away."

"What's going on, Matthew? You look worse than I've seen you before. And I was here after a building fell on you."

Matt nods. "I'm sorry. I can't trust myself right now."

"You can't trust yourself with what?"

Matt stays silent.

The priest sighs. "I know you too well and I've seen that look too many times. You might not be around to come back in the morning if I turn you away, right?"

"I'm sorry."

—0—

By Morning, Matt leaves for Mexico. His priest is understanding and better than anyone at working him down but it comes down to the fact that this is Confession, not therapy. While Matt feels he has much to confess to, the reality is that he doesn't remember most of it. Because he didn't do it. Whether he's willing to accept that or not.

Either way, he needs to let this out. He's thankful for all his friends and allies, but he can't talk to any of them about this. Jessica is as emotionally constipated as he is— more so, even. Luke is frustratingly self-righteous. Daimon has a good heart but he doesn't strike Matt as the talk it out kind of guy, whether he offered or not. Matt has a feeling that Daimon would excuse his actions if anything. Trish... he doesn't know well enough. And Spider-Man is too young. Besides all that, he's not ready to strip his soul bare to any of them and unfortunately, Foggy doesn't get it. He's left with three options. Keep it in and brood— he's already decided that isn't a healthy coping mechanism (not that that's ever stopped him). Go to a real therapist— too expensive. Or he could talk to the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who helped him. She seemed genuine when she offered her shoulder to cry on. So, he calls her.

"Hello?" You answer, confused at the unknown number.

"Hi." He clears his throat. "It's Matt. I uh, does your offer to talk about what happened still stand?"

"Yeah, of course. Right now?"

"If it's not a good time I can call back."

"No, it's fine. I wasn't sure, that's all. So, what's going on Matt?"

—0—

Over the next few months, Matt would call in a panic about what he did— or what a demon did in his body while he was stuck in his own mind. The memories would be patchy and you would talk him down, or help him remember details if that's what he needed at the time. You were able to meet up a few times in person. Those times lasted hours. As the meetings and conversations went on, you started to stray from the initial topic that brought you together that day until you stopped needing an emotional crisis to get together. Any time you were passing through the area for work, you'd make sure to meet up with him, even if it was only for a hug and reassurance.

Matt doesn't know how to feel. Well, if he's honest with himself, he knows exactly how he feels. He doesn't know how you feel and therefore, doesn't know if he should tell you how he feels. He knows he falls hard, fast, and often into love. It's why he knows exactly what this is so early on. The more he talks to you, the less he wants to talk about all the bad that happened to him recently and the more he wants to find out about you. This started as a way to get him through the aftermath of a demon possessing him but it's so much more than that now. He's not the only one who initiates anymore. Sometimes you'll call him sounding distant, asking if he's okay. The first few times, that's all you'd say, insisting you were fine when he asked. When he pressed, you eventually told him that you had a bad mission and you needed to talk to someone about anything. You'd fall asleep on the phone together.