Matt Murdock Shorts

This Is Like, Super Gay

You're out having drinks with Matt, Foggy, and Karen when you hear muffled yelling from the women's bathroom.

"I'm going to go check that out." You tell them before heading back.

"I'll come with you." Karen follows you.

You walk in, to see a middleaged woman shamelessly yelling at a younger woman.

"Hey, hey." You step in, yelling over the woman until she shuts up. "What's going on here?"

"What does it look like? This man is in here, trying to—"

"Wait, man?"

"Oh, don't act like you can't tell. He's one of those transvestites. You know why they do that, it's so they can come in here and catch a peek at us."

You arch a brow. "Hon, no one is trying to catch a peek at you. Did she do anything to you?"

"No, but—"

"That's what I thought."

"Hey, I know what he's—"

"You don't know jack shit, lady. Listen, you're going to leave here before I call the cops on you for harassing this young woman."

The woman stands there, gaping at you.

"Alright, I thought I'd save the officers some paperwork, but I guess this is what we're doing." You get out your phone.

The woman lets out a huff, turning to the young woman behind you again. "You damn queers are ruining this country." She goes to walk out, but you stop her.

"Wait, I'm sorry." You turn to the young woman Karen's been comforting through the ordeal. "I didn't even ask you. Do you want to press charges? I happen to be here with a couple great lawyers."

"I— no, no it's okay, let her leave."

"Alright. You heard the lady. It's time for you to go." You go to move before you have another thought and block the woman's path again. This time, you lean down into her space. "And I suggest you stick to drinking your shitty wine at home from now on. You never know where us queers might be. You know, we tend to stick together." At that, you move out of the way, letting the woman scamper out.

"Hey, sorry you had to deal with that." You turn back to the young woman.

She shakes her head. "It's fine. I try to avoid using public restrooms, but I'm at a bar, drinking." She shrugs.

"Ugh, I hate people. Like, mind your own damn business. Let the woman take a piss in peace."

You get a smile out of her at that. "Well, I'm glad you didn't mind your own business tonight."

"Well, while we're on the topic of not minding my business, are you here with friends?"

"I'm by myself tonight."

"Well, could I persuade you to let me buy a lady a drink?" You wink. "Before you answer, I'm sorry if that was terrible, I'm told that my flirting is atrocious."

She laughs. "I'm actually straight."

"Well, my loss. I see a pretty girl and, you know, worth a shot. You can ask Karen. I definitely tried to woo her when we met."

Karen lets out a laugh. "That you did. And were I into women, I would've fallen for it."

"That's right." You turn to the young woman again. "My offer still stands. We're always ready to pick up another stray."

"Uh, that sounds good. If you're sure your friends won't mind."

"They won't, it'll be great. Right, Karen?"