Matt Murdock Shorts

All I do the Whole Day Through is Dream of You

A/n: This is a request from @lucinda1990. I changed it a bit, but I hope I caught the essence of what they wanted :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Matt's in love with you. He knows this. You don't. From where Matt's sitting, you're perfectly happy with your boyfriend. But he doesn't have anything to do with why Matt hasn't confessed his feelings to you. Matt tells himself that it's fear. Not fear of rejection, but fear of your rejection. Fear of you telling him to move on, to seek comfort elsewhere. Because he doesn't think he could handle putting it all out there only to have it given back. Not when he's finally found the person he could love and hold for the rest of his life. Not when he's found you. He'd rather be close to you as a friend than not have you in his life at all. But being afraid is only what he thinks it is. It's an easy thing to lean on; it presents good excuses. It's not the real issue, though. Fear, Matt could get past. What he's having trouble with, deep down, where even he won't acknowledge it, is unworthiness. He sees you with your boyfriend, Happy, safe, and he knows he doesn't deserve you. He has no right to uproot your life and declare his feelings. Because, as strong as they are, you deserve a normal life, and that's not something he can offer.

Then you come to him with this information. Your boyfriend proposed. Matt knows you've been together for a couple years, he should've known this was coming. But he didn't. He didn't expect it, but now that he's thinking about it, he's not shocked. Surprised, sure. But more than anything, he's hurt. He knows he has no right to be. He never said anything, and even if he did, he wouldn't expect you to reciprocate his feelings. What he needs to do now, is focus on being happy for you. And if he can't do that yet, he needs to make it look like he is. Because all he wants is for you to be happy. Yes, he'd like to be the one to make you happy, but that's clearly not an option. At least, not in the sense he wants it to be.

"Matt? Are you okay?" Your voice pulls him out of his thoughts.

"What? I mean, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. What about you? What did you tell him?"

"I told him I'd have to think about it."

"Oh. Well, what's there to think about?"

"I don't know. I just- when he asked, he caught me off guard. I didn't know what to say. I felt... I don't know. Like something was missing."

"Well, do you even want to get married at all?"

"I'm not opposed to it but it's not a goal or anything either."

He nods. "Do you love him?" He asks, barely above a whisper.

"I thought I did. But if you're in love, shouldn't you be excited to get married?"

"I think it's different for everyone, and it depends on your view of marriage. If you're going to get married, though, you should be happy about it."

"Yeah." You sigh. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Yeah, what's your view of marriage?"

"Uh, I think it could be good one day, with the right person."

"Any prospects?" You bump his shoulder with yours, almost falling off the barstool in the process. Matt catches you, though, guiding you back onto your seat. You lose track of time as you sit there, leaning on him and gazing at the natural contours of his face. That one, short moment, stretching on for what feels like minutes.

"You alright?" He murmurs, his hands grasping your forearms.

"Yeah." You snap out of your haze. "I must've had more than I thought."