Consumed By You |Shawn Mendes|

Cant Seem To Escape

I tried to NOT look at his story, I was pretty sure it would be some kind of promo for his last leg of his tour.

He really needs a break after this tour.

Reluctantly I opened my phone and watched his story,
because I just couldn't control my damn self.

He stood facing his hotel room balcony showing the beautiful sunset and then he faced the camera to himself and there he stood.

Beautiful.

Showcasing his beautiful smile,

Straight white teeth,

That rare sight of his cheek dimple.

I love his smile

His face

Crescent of his eyes when he smiles with all his might.

I instantly had to exit out my entire instagram application.

I felt the all to familiar numbness that crept in every few times.

Anxiety.

"Yvette? Sweetie are you okay?" Mercedes asked touching my arm bringing me down slowly from the anxious rush I was feeling.

"Yes, sorry guys I just spaced the hell out." I said looking down at my heels and pulling my jacket button.

"Thinking about that sexy man of yours. To be honest girl I do the same at times. How did you get so lucky?" Candice said as she popped her lips and rolled her eyes at just the thought of MY man.

"Easy now girls, he is madly in love with our girl." I heard the voice of my boss from behind me.

Stephanie.

She was a true gem, for someone who literally created her brand from the group up, she remained fairly humble. She was so nice in my first interview when i came back and decided to stay here in LA. She took a chance hiring me but i promised her that i would work twice as hard to catch up with everyone so that i didn't look like i didn't know what the hell i was doing. She said she liked my drive and my dedication, so she hired me. Strangely enough i began to feel like we could be friends if she wasn't my boss, but i never took it to that level, didn't want to risk it.

"Hi Steph. How are you doing?" I asked turning towards her and meeting her grey like eyes. She was very pretty and not in a stuck up bitch way.

"Hey darling. I hope you and prince charming had a great vacation, hope to hear all about it during wine and cheese soon. Ladies lets get back to work please, i know its a slow day but we cant slack. " She said as she looked over at all three of us with a raised eyebrow and a half smile.

We all turned and went back to our desk and continued with the day.

The day seemed to go slowly, so i spent most of my time texting Antonio whenever he had a free moment to text of course.

Something seemed off with us, but i gathered it to be because of me and my now conflicted feelings because of those three words.

I love you ...

I wanted to love him, i should love him.

But i couldn't because i was still sadly consumed by Shawn.

I would never admit it to anyone because i was secretly ashamed.

I was chasing around a singer,

A SINGER !

But after the moments we shared between us,

Its what stuck with me the most.

Was i really overthinking,

Overreacting things that happen?

No.

That last fleeting moment in New York has stuck with me the last three months.

I found myself once again creeping onto his Instagram, only this time i decided to send him a message now. I looked at the blank screen and i found myself typing and retying different things for a million times.

What was i supposed to say.

Nothing Yvette, leave it alone.

I couldn't, i pushed my subconscious aside and my fingers began typing quickly.

I honestly dont know why im writing to you, chances are you might never see this. But i wanted to just say i hate that after our unexpected meet in august that i cant seem to get you off my mind. I know i sound crazy but i figured i thought i should just let you know. A side from that i hope your enjoying the rest of your tour, maybe try to take a break soon huh. xx

The clicked send and i felt a small rush come over me.

What the hell did I just do.