Haunting

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"But then the circle of your friends

Will defend the silver lining"

- Heart of Life, John Mayer

____________

I was flying.

I hit the rooftop hard, landing on both feet, the scar on my calf screaming.

Ed met my eyes, that gold wide with alarm.

Those eyes went wide, and I could do nothing but stare as a massive gust of wind suddenly blinded both of us. When my eyes opened again, when I looked as fast as I possibly could, Ed's human arm was reduced to nothing but a bleeding stump.

I woke up with a jolt. Enough for Ed to jump in shock from where he was standing.

"What's wrong?!" he asked me.

I could only give these stupid heavy breaths in response. My eyes shut tight, and I curled my body against bent knees. Just trying to get enough air. Gain enough composure.

Just a dream.

It was just a dream.

But the reality of it... The fact that it could have happened so easily... That's what scared me more than anything.

I didn't want to hurt him. I didn't want to hurt either of them...

Ed was crawling to me with his knees, shifting on the bed until he sat in front of me. Hands found mine; contrasting in temperature. I resisted the urge to slip my hands out of his gentle hold. I resisted the urge to start shaking, distracting myself by listening to what Ed was whispering to me.

Deep breaths. I did that. I was fucking smart enough to do that. The thought sent a sting of pain into the place behind my chest, and I focused on that. Continuing to pull air into my lungs through my mouth. Deep breaths.

His thumb kept moving along my hand. Rhythmic strokes. Loving. I felt disgusted at the feeling.

I tried to focus on the emotional pain in my chest, but it was quickly fading. Walls beginning to break. I'd already let Ed see a part of me I had only showed one other person... I'd already let him in and even now I felt myself beginning to break.

I pulled in another breath, squeezing my eyes shut. But Ed pulled me into an embrace, murmuring words that were spoken so sweetly I had to turn my head into his chest. Press my face roughly against him until I thought my nose might pop.

He was calling my name now, obviously alarmed. His hands pulled me away from him by my shoulders, forcing me to meet his wide-eyed stare.

"It's okay," he said. I just kept trying to draw in deep breaths like he told me to. He briefly looked away from me, hand brushing a tendril of hair away from my face. Tucking it behind one ear. "It's okay," he repeated. "Just a dream."

He smiled at me, eyes curving a little. "I know they can be really realistic sometimes, but everything's okay now! You're safe!"

Safe, I repeated. I almost shook my head, almost told him how we really WEREN'T safe, going like this. Traveling with barely a goal, barely a way to get their bodies restored, all the while being hunted down by these THINGS THAT COULD KILL US

Some part of that must have slipped out in a small breath, because Ed took my hands in his again, trying to comfort me. Like a child. Like a kid.

"There's nothing we haven't been able to handle," he said. And he grinned again. "And you know what Al and I went through—some pretty crazy stuff, right?"

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