𝐒𝐋𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘! ( s.cb + l.f )

❧forty eight: geospace

Thursday morning came in the form of murky grey clouds that warned Felix of the rain that was sure to come later on. He just hoped that the sky wasn't a representation of how Aina was going to react to his confessions that day, and he prayed that everything would go smoothly. He didn't want to lose either one of them. That was, in his mind, the absolute worst case scenario. Having to choose between Aina and Changbin would surly crush him in ways that he'd never be able to fully come to terms with. After all, his aunt was the one who had taken him in and raised him as her own. She'd cared for him in ways that he'd never in a million years be able to fully repay her for. But that was a doubled ended sword; because Changbin had done the very same. The older boy had been the one to show him that love was indeed real, and that it was an incredibly beautiful thing. That was a lesson that the raven haired boy had taught Felix twice in their lifetimes. Once when they were simply children, and then again as young adults.

"...worrying won't help anything," Changbin said in a gentle tone of voice as he came to stand beside the Australian.

"Yeah," the younger boy breathed out the word slowly, turning his head to look at the raven haired boy.

"I know that."

But, despite the fact that he knew worrying wouldn't get him anywhere, and it would only prove to make his day that much more miserable, he continued to run the worst possible scenarios through his mind. He wanted to be prepared for anything that was to come, because he felt as if he needed to be ready for the worst. While he knew that Aina was a loving, caring, beautiful human being; he also knew that same sex couples were often looked down upon in the society that he was raised in. It was a sad fact about life, and while he himself had never been taught to hate, he also never remembered a time when stigmas were enforced upon him. He was well aware that nobody is ever born to be racist, homophobic, or anything of that nature; but rather, the society around them and the way they happen to be raised is influential of the hatred that winds up engraved within their minds. He was never taught to hate, therefore he never did, and for that, he was extremely thankful. But at the same time, he couldn't recall a time when it was necessary for Aina to bring up anything like that to him. They were fairly close, but still, his aunt worked long hours and slept for the majority of the time that she could find to do so. When they had the time to sit down and simply talk to one another, that time wasn't wasted on topics that never inherently seemed to matter to either of them.

When they could find the time to sit and speak with one another, they used that time to talk about their day to day endeavors. They used the time to explain what was happening in their lives, and up until very recently, love hadn't been a factor in Felix's life. He'd never had a girlfriend, and he'd never particularly wanted one. But, at the same time, he couldn't recall ever wanting a boyfriend either. In fact, up until the time that he found himself falling for Changbin, he couldn't honestly say that he'd ever known someone that he'd ever even had an interest in, which often times led him to think that he was incapable of loving someone in such an unconditional way.

But, just like he'd done to everything else, Changbin had made him think twice about that. The raven haired boy had been able to show him a brand new world. One filled with happiness, and respect, and all things comforting. He'd opened up the younger boy's mind to the idea that putting all his passion and trust into another human being wasn't as pointless as he'd always thought it would be for him.

"I'm scared," the Australian admitted, glancing back towards the sky that was painted an unflattering shade of grey.

"I don't want to lose anybody. Not Aina, not you...Not anyone."

"I'm the last person on the face of the planet that you'll lose, Felix," the raven haired boy clutched the younger boy's hand a little tighter.

"I can't speak for anyone else. But I can say that if the people around you truly love you, then this won't change anything. Being with me doesn't change who you are. This is one aspect of you, but you're so much more than just this relationship. You're not my boyfriend...You're Felix."