I'll Take That Chance

CH 22 - He Grinned At His Shyness

Harry flipped through the pages of his latest essay for Defense Against the Dark Arts and re-read the last paragraph. He was supposed to turn in 18 inches in the morning on different Dark Magic Detectors. He was close to 16, but he wasnt getting any farther tonight. He flipped his notebook shut and leaned back on the sofa and watched Draco work. He was already at 19 inches and he wasn't showing signs of slowing down. Most evenings they would study in the library but sometimes it was best to be alone. It was already the end of October and their first Hogsmeade trip was this weekend. Harry was excited but he knew Draco was nervous about being out.

He leaned forward on his knees and studied Draco as he wrote. His sleeves were pushed up to his elbows and Harry watched the muscles rippling under the fine blond hairs that coated his arms. Occasionally he would put his quill down, travel the length of the paper with his fingers and then resume writing. His skin looked exceptionally pale in the soft light of his sitting room, and the Dark Mark tattooed on his arm was dark, but Harry felt like maybe it wasn't as dark as he had seen it before. He sat back again and stretched his arms.

"I'm calling it. I'm done with homework for the night."

"I noticed," Draco said without looking up. "You stopped working ten minutes ago." He finished writing and turned and chuckled at Harry.

"How are you coming along, then?"

"I'm just finished. Are you going to be ready to turn all of your work in this week?" Draco raised an eyebrow at him and looked over his stack of papers.

"Yes," Harry retorted as he shuffled through his papers. "I got most of the small stuff done last night while you were working on your Arithmancy. I even finished my Potions work on my own," he said with a laugh. Draco took it from him and looked it over, nodding in approval. He put it back on Harry's bag and sat back shoulder to shoulder with him.

"Professor Slughorn is great, but he is very by the book and so it makes the practical part of potion making difficult. Snape was more practical and explorative. He knew much more than the books and he taught that way."

"Well, when I got his old Potions book in Sixth Year I started excelling. He really knew his stuff."

"Is that what it was? I always wondered how you all of the sudden started doing so well," Draco laughed and nudged him in the side which tickled more than Harry was willing to let on. Draco stretched his arms up and out and settled one around Harry's shoulders. Harry laughed but he settled in closely, enjoying the smells of Draco's sharp cologne and the ink he used.

"Very smooth. Are you excited for this weekend?"

"Kind of. I'm a little nervous about going away from the school though. During the summer, I mostly stayed home, only leaving to go to the Ministry. I haven't been around many other people and I'll bet most of them react the way the others have here," Draco said, looking at Harry. He nodded at him and then turned in his seat to face Draco who brought his arm down.

"Are you worried someone will attack either of us? I've thought about it but I'm not going to worry about it. We'll be together and we'll watch out for one another, like we've been doing so far," he said with a smile. He grabbed Draco's hand and interlaced their fingers. Ever since that day in class, this was Harry's favorite way to be close to him. He was surprised by how well they fit together. He traced patterns over the back of Draco's angular hand which elicited a small smile.

"I'm worried about a few things. I do think about the possibility of someone attacking either of us, but I also worry about being called out on my past by the people we meet, and they'd be right, and there would be nothing I could do. I know it sounds cowardly, but I don't want to be faced with who I was or what happened to my father. I hate it all." He dropped his head and sighed. Harry gently transferred Draco's hand to his right hand and he hesitated only for a second before placing his other hand on Draco's back. He felt Draco stiffen as he ran his hand along Dracos spine, trying to comfort him. He was tempted to put a small kiss on his shoulder, but they hadn't done that yet and he wasn't sure how Draco would react to it. Instead, he slowly lowered his forehead onto Draco's shoulder, his heart pounding at his thoughts.

"Draco, I don't know what will happen, but eventually we'll have to find out. And like I said, we'll be together. You can always grab my hand if you need to." Harry gave him a moment to think it through and while he did, his breathing evened out. Harry lifted his head and looked at Draco who looked back as well. He could feel Draco's breath tingling his chin and he wanted to lean in and give him a kiss, but he was scared. He had no idea what it would be like kissing another man and the thought made him nervous. But not so nervous he wasnt willing to try. But what about Draco? Would he enjoy it or would he be mad? Just as he was about to start leaning in, he swallowed around a lump in his throat and hastily shoved off from the couch. He tossed his things into his bag, very aware of Draco still sitting on the couch, and he was afraid to look at him.

***

"Harry," Draco began but he paused, unsure of why Harry had pulled back. He stood as well but Harry took another step back and ran his hands nervously through his unruly hair.

"I'm sorry," he said, shuffling his feet. "I don't want to... I didn't... Please dont be mad," Harry rambled incoherently, not making any sense.

"I'm not mad. Why would you even think that?" he asked, the hurt coming out more than he had intended and Harry looked up wide-eyed.

"I don't know," he replied helplessly, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "I just... I don't know, maybe my subconscious saw you angry..."

"Harry, stop blathering on like that," he said authoritatively, and Harry stopped talking. "So, you thought I would have gotten mad? Because you kissed me? Does that mean you won't try again?" he asked, surprising himself, "because you think it'll make me mad?"

"Would it have?" Harry asked, looking back down at his feet which were shuffling on the carpet. Draco grinned at his shyness.

"Oh, come on, Harry. I wasn't exactly pushing you away, was I? Do you think I don't want to? To kiss you?" he asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"No, I just... I guess I was too nervous." He shrugged again and Draco grinned at the thought.

"Don't worry about it, Harry. It'll happen when it happens." Draco cleared his throat. "It'll be good. Special and good," he said awkwardly and wished he would just shut up.

"You're cute in awkward situations," Harry chuckled.

"You're one to talk, 'Mr. Cant-Look-My-Boyfriend-In-The-Eye-When-Talking-About-Kissing.' And newsflash, I'm cute all the time," Draco laughed and he tossed a pillow at Harry as he left the portrait laughing.

The next morning, Draco arrived first to class and turned his homework in to Professor Binns. He sat patiently in the back and waited for Harry to come in. A couple of students trickled in here and there, ignoring him as usual but he had noticed they had started giving Harry the cold shoulder as well.

Hermione walked in and gave him a cursory nod and a smile, which he returned. He looked down at his notes and flipped through his papers to find a blank sheet when a finger lightly flicked his ear. He looked up and Harry winked at him, sitting down at the table directly in front of his own.

"Good morning, handsome," Draco whispered, and Harry blushed profusely. Ron was the last one in and he flicked Harry on the ear as he walked by and then dropped a quick kiss on Hermione's head. Draco rolled his eyes and stared at the back of Harry's head, his hair tantalizing Dracos lips; he wouldn't mind placing a kiss on the top of his head.