twenty-nine | take a bloody chill pill

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december 10th
houston, america

I DID MY BEST TO REMAIN CALM, but the thought of Xavier being in this hospital dying or already dead was nerve-wrecking. Drew had been keeping an eye on me and was looking out for me, but even he didn't know how to respond to this situation. During the car ride, I had put on Christmas music to become serene, but that didn't help much. At one point Drew even considered to take the wheel, however I was determined to keep driving.

            "Hello, how can I help you?" the middle-aged woman with strands of grey highlights asked.

            "Xavier Montgomery," I said, "I need to see him."

She browsed through her computer and I waited impatiently as I tapped my nails onto the desk to make her hurry a bit. After the search which felt like hours, she looked at us again with a rather concerned face. My whole body turned into pudding and I had to lean against the desk to maintain balance.

            "I'm afraid you can't go in his room now, ma'am."

            "When can I go?" my voice broke a bit, because I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to know what was going on as fast as possible.

            "I don't think-"

I grabbed Drew's arm and pulled him along. We ran to the oncology department which was a whole adventure. We had to dodge all kinds of obstacles such as people in the hospital, doctors, nurses with food, etcetera. After looking at all the signs we encountered, we finally arrived at the right department. But from there, we had no idea what room it possibly could be and checking every one of them was extremely unpolite. We quietly walked through the corridors, until I overheard a conversation.

            "The patient is in a critical condition," a doctor said to another doctor, "he is in treatment in a hospital in London, but it is unknown how he came all the way here. The hospital in London was in the middle of a treatment, one day off was possible, but he's been untreated for almost a week."

            "Either the patient didn't know the consequences or he is suicidal."

            "His medical history showed that he's already had leukemia before. I'm going to call the hospital in London, alright?"

             "Yes. I'll be back here in half an hour to check up."

When the two doctors left, Drew and I sneaked into the room. The room was whiter than I expected, curtains widely open and sheer white covers on the bed where Xavier laid. Beside him sat his mother, she was holding his and had her eyes closed.

When I looked behind me, Drew nodded and waited outside for me.

            "Mrs. Montgomery," I said quietly.

            "Autumn," she said surprised when she saw me. "I'm glad you're here. My boy could use some support of the woman he cares so much about."

            "Hm?" Xavier's eyes started rolling underneath the lids and seconds later they slowly opened. I was so incredibly relieved to see those green orbs, especially since they maintained the color I clearly remembered. I wanted to jump onto his bed, into his arms and hug him until he couldn't breathe, but he had just woken up from what must've been a very deep sleep and I wanted to give him some time.

            "Mum?" he asked carefully as he looked at her hands stroking the top of his. Mrs. Montgomery nodded and smiled widely, probably being as relieved as I was. She stood up to kiss his forehead and as she kissed him, he acknowledged my presence. "Am I dead?"

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