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I don't exactly know where it went wrong

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I don't exactly know where it went wrong. Where it really went wrong, like really wrong. I'm debating whether it was when Sadie and I tripped over each other's shoes, or when Lost in Japan started playing.

Wait, I remember it and it was way before that...

october 15th – 9:45 pm
london, england

Lily-Rose was stressed out in the limousine that her parents had arranged for us to get to the party, because we took some extra forty-five minutes to get ready. Or more specifically, I took some extra forty-five minutes. Back in the hotel when I tried to fit into my red, tight – really fucking tight – off the shoulder dress, I forgot that I had gained some pounds. To me, this sister just got thicker, but my dress thought differently; it got ripped apart when I tried to get it over my booty. There we stood, Lily-Rose had her hands covering her mouth in total shock, while Sadie tried to hold her laughter, Valentina almost peed all over the floor, Fadoua tried to mend the split-in-half dress I more or less was wearing and Gwen was doubting if I got thicker or just fatter. Definitely the last one. Me, I wanted to cry honestly. Chris used to love me the way I was, so when we got serious I stopped keeping up my healthy lifestyle and ditched it for chocolate, fries, pizza – without pineapple of course, dis-fucking-gusting – etcetera. I regretted it all.

"We need to get you a new one," Fadoua informed.

I looked at the dress and then started to make this sound which was basically a mix between laughing and crying.

"Oh no," Gwen said, "three... two... one... And there she goes."

Tears were rolling down my face. Valentina and Sadie rushed up to me and dried them, trying to cool me down while Lily-Rose, Gwen and Fadoua searched for a new dress.

"I'm so sorry," I sobbed, "now we're going to be late and it's all my fault."

Valentina and Sadie simultaneously looked at each other in confusion. Then they realized the crying wasn't about being late nor about me gaining weight – well, maybe a bit –, it was a bit deeper than that.

"This is about Chris, isn't it?" Sadie asked.

"Of course it is, dumb bitch," Valentina said.

"No, it isn't!" I lied, but only started crying harder.

"Sis, you're ruining your make-up. Are you really going to let that foolish boy ruin your make-up? Is he really going to ruin this amazing night for you? Is he really worth that?"

I shook my head.

"Then get your fucking self together and fuck that hoe."

"Yeah, fuck that hoe!" Sadie cheered.

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