twenty-five | she can see through his walls

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song I used while writing this chapter: Give Me Love by  Ed Sheeran
author's note: it's 12:14 pm and i just finished writing this chapter, it's very sad but also very happy? confused about this chapter but I love it

song I used while writing this chapter: Give Me Love by  Ed Sheeranauthor's note: it's 12:14 pm and i just finished writing this chapter, it's very sad but also very happy? confused about this chapter but I love it

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october 5th
dallas, america

XAVIER TURNED AROUND TO THE PEOPLE behind him who were looking at him as if he was insane. He raised both his arms and let out a nervous laugh. He stammered some letters when he turned around again and faced me. Then he began to shake his head.

"My hallucinations are getting really fucking realistic." He slowly and carefully removed the distance between us by walking towards me. It was as if he was walking from the Royal Hospital in England to my apartment in Dallas. Cutting distance by every step felt so surreal, like he was cutting all tension between the two of us.

Everyone was caught up in the moment – no one dared to say a word. Even I was silenced to death, because I didn't know what to say.

He closed his eyes and leaned in to give me a soft kiss onto my lips. The membrane of air which was the only thing that kept us apart, got shattered and never was able to rebuild itself. There was not a single thing succeeding in separating us. When he pulled back and opened his eyes, we both knew that we were there in that moment. I could feel the warmth building up in my stomach and a wave of bright clouds went through my whole body. The sea of questions suddenly didn't matter anymore – there was no time to ask questions, we needed this time to enjoy each other before we would be apart again.

When All I Want For Christmas Is You's end neared, Xavier took an unexpected step back. He was having a hard time balancing between the two options he seemed to struggle with; pulling me into a tight hug or walking away from me and leaving me like a total stranger.

"Happy birthday," I said quietly when the song ended.

He blinked a couple of times, where after he turned his back to me and walked out of the dining room without excusing himself. The people stared at me for a couple of seconds longer, but soon after started talking loudly.

All the girls immediately ran up to me, hugged me and took me to the kitchen where nobody was present. Shocked by what just happened, I sat down on the counter and breathed in deeply.

"I-" Lily-Rose stammered as she paced up and down the room, "I thought he'd be happy to see you... I'm so sorry, Autumn, I should've never done this."

"You couldn't know," I said quietly and smiled at her. I didn't want her to feel guilty, because Xavier was an unexpected man.

"Of course she could know!" Fadoua said, "Why would you do this to Autumn? Why would you hurt her like that? She was doing so fucking well without seeing Xavier who by the way has good reasons to not be involved with her and now you fucked it all up."

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