Against All Odds

Chapter 81

Chapter 81

~ Kandee’s POV ~

I led Nicole toward the bedroom, so that she could pick out some pajamas to wear for the evening,  seeing as Alex had neglected to inform her of the fact that this would be an overnight event.  As we entered my bedroom I gestured to the closet.

“There’s the closet, you can pick out whatever you would like, just not the nightgown in the back, it was my moms.”  I added quietly.  The nightgown was quite special to me as it had been one of my mom’s favorites.

“Oh, does your mom not live here anymore?  It’s just you and your dad?”  Nicole asked softly.  I flinched away from her words even though I knew she had not been informed of what had happened.  I knew it was foolish to get upset with her, but a small piece of me was still angered and hurt that she had brought it up.

“No, both of my parents died in a car accident when I was six.  It’s just me and Cole here.”  I answered in a pained tone, cringing as memories flooded my mind with anguish.  Even though things had seemed to be getting better, it still hurt to say - to admit to myself - that my parents were gone, never to return.  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to will my heart to stay in one piece, at least for the time being.

“Oh.... I’m so sorry, I didn’t know...” Nicole whispered, averting her gaze and staring at the floor.

“I’ll let you get changed.  We’ll be in the living room, so you know where to find us when you’re ready.”  I stated bluntly, my words sounding cold and bitter.  Slowly, I turned and left the room, struggling to keep my composure with every step I took.  

By the time I reached the living room, I had myself in check; the mask I had worked so hard on perfecting, slid onto my face and hid the whirlwind of thoughts that were flying around inside my head.  I plopped down on the couch next to Cole and snuggled up to his side, and almost instantly I started to feel better.  Soon enough the mask disappeared and a genuine smile spread across my lips, just in time for Nicole to come sauntering back into the room.  And, boom, just like that all my previously forgotten insecurities came rushing back.  She looked like a supermodel, even though she was just wearing a pair of fitted pajama shorts and an oversized t-shirt.  I never did understand why Cole had so willingly settled for someone like me when he could have a girl like Nicole, who was gorgeous and stunning.  

“It’s not called settling when you’re in love, Kandee.”  Cole whispered in my ear, seeming to have read my mind. “Oh, and you should really work on the whole inner monologue thing.... because you have a tendency to say whatever you happen to be thinking.”  He added playfully.  I blushed furiously as I looked up to find everyone staring at me like I was a complete idiot.

“Kandee, I don’t think you are really seeing yourself quite clearly.  I am obviously flattered that you do find me to be beautiful, but I’m nothing compared to you.  I actually envy you, you are everything I wish to be; you’re honest, strong, brave, amazingly beautiful, all things I wish that I was.”  Nicole said sadly as she shook her head slightly.  She looked at me like I was crazy for not knowing those things.

“It doesn't really matter...can we just watch the movies?  Please?”  I asked quietly, trying to change the topic.  And just like that, it was as though the whole thing had never happened, well almost.

~ Cole’s POV ~

I stroked Kandee’s hair as I contemplated what she had said.  Was it true?  Was I really just settling for Kandee?  It couldn’t be true, not when everything felt so perfect, not when my heart finally felt complete, could it?  Was it all in my head, did I really love her?  Of course I did, I loved her with every bone in my body and every fiber of my being, but was that really enough, could it ever be enough?  Could giving Kandee every once of my love ever be enough to convince her that my feelings - my love - was just as real as the pain she had suffered for so many years?  Would she ever understand how desperate I was to make her see that my love was true, that I would never try to hurt her?  Would she ever give up on pushing me away and just hold me close?  Could I ever erase that damage that those who had come before me had done to her fragile heart?  Could I continue to love her even if I knew I would never get the same unwavering love in return?