The Exchange Student / English Version

35. Nothing but lies

Harry

Zayn takes my hand and we end up in his room. He wants to lock the door. 

"Zayn, please. I need to talk to you," I say. 

Niall's sudden appearance upset me. I wish I hadn't opened the door.  I didn't want to hear the bad news. 

"Where were we? At dessert?" he breathes into my ear.

 "Zayn, I'm serious." 

I withdraw from his embrace and sit upright at the end of the bed. 

"Okay, okay." 

Disappointed, he crosses his arms in front of his chest and looks at me expectantly.

 "What do you want to talk about? What's so important we can't continue where we left off?" 

I don't know where to start. I can't tell him everything. He already knows that I'm taken. But he doesn't know all the circumstances. If I tell him, he will hate me. I cannot risk that. 

"Well?"

 He is getting impatient.

 "Zee, we can't be together. That was a bad idea." I say bitterly.

 Zayn looks so serious and pretty pale. 

"What do you mean by that? We agreed that we are together, didn't we? In public, I'm officially with Niall and you're with Taylor." He takes a deep breath. 

"So what's the problem?" he wants to know and his voice cracks. I see his hands trembling. 

"That's cheating, Zayn. We betray our ..., our...". I don't even know what to call it.

"Who are we betraying, Harry? Who do you mean?" Zayn walks restlessly around.

 "We love each other ! You can't even name it, Harry, what Niall and Taylor are". I see tears in his eyes.

 "I don't love Niall! And you don't love Taylor! Admit it", he shouts desperately.

 "Zayn, I don't love Taylor, but...". 

What am I supposed to do? The situation is getting out of hand. Should I tell him the truth? In two weeks he will find out anyway. It breaks my heart.  I have to reject the man, whom I love from the bottom of my heart. I have no choice.

"I'm, I'm... I'm in love with a girl, Zayn." 

It's finally been said...and it's a lie.

"Whaaat?" he stutters.

 In my agony, I can't even look at him. 

"I love Rose, Zayn, and I don't want to cheat on her."

 "Who you are in love with?," he yells. 

"Rose?" He puts his hands in front of his face and sobs. 

"Zayn, I..." I stammer. 

Zayn looks up, tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"You lied to me. You said that you loved me. That was all a lie?" 

He stands in front of me and holds my wrists. The soft brown eyes fix on my eyes. 

"Why did you do that, Harry?" he whispers. 

"You are in love with a girl and at the same time you are looking for a little excitement with a man? I mean, what's up with that ?"

 His grip is still firm. I avoid eye contact. 

"What's up with that, Harry? Explain it to me."

 When I don't answer, he pushes me backwards onto the bed.

 "Okay, Styles! Don't let me stand in your way!" He takes off his shirt, takes off his pants and stands in front of me only in his boxers.

 "What's all this ?" I'm totally buffled. 

"Fuck me! Fuck me, Styles! That's what you wanted the whole time, isn't it? Just go ahead!" 

I'm struggeling with the situation, I straighten up.

 "Zayn, please. It's not like that!"

 "Then what is it like? Didn't you want that all the time? Remember the first dinner. You already wanted to seduce me. Now you can have me. Take me.", he howls loudly.

 It is unbearable. I am unable to act. Zayn crouches on the floor. His whole body is trembling. My hand strokes his back. 

"I'm sorry, Zayn. I am so sorry," I whisper and leave the room.