Harry
I don't feel good. My heart aches. Zayn plays with my feelings. For the first time, I feel like I'm really in love. Honest feelings. For a long time I didn't want to admit that for myself. I denied it to myself. The playing with fire have made my situation worse.
At first, I just wanted to confuse Zayn. He is attractive. I liked that. I'm sexually attracted to him. From this sexual attractiveness, real feelings have developed over time. When I'm near him, I get insecure and my body tingles. I never would have thought that is possible. Everything is out of control. My mind is like a roller coaster. Zayn and Niall are together. I don't stand a chance . I'm unhappy - I'm unhappily in love. How on earth am I going to get through the weekend?
After all, we share a room. I want to touch Zayn, I want to kiss him and confess my love to him and I can't. He wouldn't believe me. I pushed the game too far. You always fall for the wrong people., I think.
Mother calls from the ground floor. I stand up and go downstairs to the others. Steaming tea is on the table. Maria has brought us biscuits. I take a cuppa and wrap my cold hands around it. Zayn looks at me. I'm avoiding his gaze. My heart is groaning under the burden. He comes up to me and puts his hand on my back. My body starts to shake.
"Hey Harry, are you feeling better now?" He asks.
I nod in silence. The touch doesn't relieve my pain, but strengthens it.
"Zayn, let it go," I beg.
The fireplace crackles and gives off cosy warmth. I'm sitting in the big armchair and looking into the flickering flames. My parents go outside and Gemma is in the bathroom. Zayn sits next to me, in front of the fire. He puts his hand on mine and says:
"I'm sorry, Harry, if I've gone too far recently. I don't know how that happened either," he says.
"Zayn, I don't want to talk about it." I say.
"Harry, that's the reason why you're so quiet?"
His eyes are trying to read my mind.
"I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."
"Well, you did.," sadly admit.
"You left me standing like an idiot and I revealed my feelings to you!" I shout out.
Zayn's expression changes. The soft expression becomes harder and the eyebrows are pinched together.
"What are you saying? I left you standing like an idiot? What about me? What did you do to me the times before? That's ridiculous, Harry! You turned me on twice and then you left! The next morning the girl showes up and you are whispering sweet nothings in her ear. How do you think, how I felt, Harry? We had almost had sex in the kitchen on this night! You have nothing to reproach myself for." I snarl at him.
After Zayn's explanation I stand up without a word and go back to my room. Leaving Zayn alone in front of the fireplace.
Zayn
I'm thinking. Does Harry really love me? At some point I doze off in front of the fire. Around midnight I go back to the room. Harry is sleeping and the moon is shining through the window. He makes his light skin shine. He's lying there so peacefully. I bend down to him and listen to his steady breath. His chest raises and lowers quietly. A sight of peace, I think. His beautiful, gentle lips are closed. I have to kiss him. Gently, gently I kiss him on the mouth. "I love you, Harry!" I whisper.
YOU ARE READING
The Exchange Student / English Version
FanfictionZayn Malik travels to London as a Pakistani exchange student. His host family are the wealthy Styles. Life could be so nice if it weren't for the spoiled son Harry, who makes life difficult for him.
