"Amy? Helllllooooo? Anyone there?"
Amy curses at herself for disturbing such a busy person with a random phone call she didn't intend to happen.
"Is everything okay?"
"Yeah, yeah everything's fine. I didn't really have a reason to call, I kinda just accidentally called," Amy rambles, her finger hovering over the 'end call' button. "Sorry about that, I'm probably disturbing you too."
"It's fine! You know you can call me whenever you want right? Even if you don't have a reason to," Jamil's voice comes through the phone.
Dude that is so sweet, Amy bites down on her lip and touches the necklace. A hint of worry is what Amy recognizes. He does that for his friends, calm the fuck down Amy.
"Thanks dude," Amy smiles. "But isn't it late? What are you even doing up?"
"Um," shuffling of papers, "a test tomorrow that I'm studying for. What are you up for?" Jamil questions.
"Eh, I uh, don't really know why I'm up right now," Amy shrugs, pulling her blanket over her.
"One of those sleepless nights huh?" Jamil finds it relatable. "I'm all too familiar with them myself."
"Yeah, it uh, stinks," Amy replies, she didn't really mean to call and is now struggling to find something to talk about. "Can I...talk to you about something? It's really personal but I just need to spill my thoughts so that I can organize them."
"Sure, go right ahead," Jamil answers. "If you don't want me to pay attention just let me know and I won't, I'll listen if you want me to."
"Umm," Amy didn't think too far out with this. "Just listen I guess."
"Okay, I'm all ears."
"Thanks," Amy takes a deep breath before starting to talk. "I think I hate myself. I don't like who I was and I really don't like where I am as a ma-person right now. I wish...I wish I could be better. I don't feel like I'm good enough."
"Sounds to me like you don't love being yourself Amy. I can't change your mind on how you feel about yourself but know that everyone around you loves you for who you are. You are good enough Amy, and you don't have to like where you're at. You can always strive to improve yourself, but don't lose yourself in the process."
His voice barely hides the rushing of him to say something. "It's so brave of you to even say and tell me this," he says softly.
"But that's not enough," Amy bites her lip.
"It is enough. You being you is more than enough. It's more than what anyone can ask of you. After all that you've been through...you have no reason, with or without hardships, to think that you aren't enough. And it doesn't even matter about others. You can only be enough to yourself, only you can say if you're enough."
Salt enters Amy's mouth and she wipes them away hastily.
"Jamil...how do I love being myself?"
---
The next morning, Brenton still didn't come out of his room but breakfast was made for them.
"That boy really needs to get out of that room of his," Owen, gladly munching on the pancakes, comments.
"Mhm," Sasha agrees, popping a blueberry into her mouth along with the piece of pancake. "I mean, he is feeling better right?"
"He seems a bit better," Ku nods, eating his pancake and smiling. "But he needed some more time."
YOU ARE READING
Elements: Four Me (Book 4)
ActionThe hardest part of being who you are is being accepting and loving yourself. Which isn't the only issue this time, with an old war general risen from the dead, the teens aren't just dealing with their older sister struggling to grasp herself closur...
