I'm Sorry // 5sos sister

39. Calling for Help and Secrets

The girls around me just kept saying horrible things to me as I tried to get away from them.  A few of the girls grabbed my arms and kept pulling me back into the circle.  They ripped off my bracelets and started to make fun of my cuts and scars.  I pulled away from them and went into a full out sprint away from them.  I ran down the street until I saw a small cafe that was semi empty and hid in the corner in a booth.  

I waited about twenty minutes and the girls never came looking for me.  They were probably still surrounding Michael for all I knew.  I slowly got up checking outside through the windows before I exited the small cafe.  I looked around not knowing where I was.  I pulled my phone out of my pocket and scrolled through my contacts quickly hitting Calum's.  He had become like a older brother to me which I think was what he was always supposed to be.  He picked up on the second ring and I told him that I had gotten seperated from Michael and I needed someone to pick me up because I had no idea where I was.  

He told me that he knew where I was based on what I told him about my surroundings.  He told me that he would be there soon to get me and to just chill out in the cafe until then.  We both hung up and I sat at a table near the front of the cafe so that I would be able to see Calum when he pulled up. I texted Sam about what happened and she told me that I made the right move to call Calum for help.  

I texted her until I saw Calum in front of the building and told her that I had to go.  I walked outside and gave Calum a hug.  He seemed a little shocked but gave me a quick hug back and then opened the door for me.  I hopped in and he got into the driver's seat.  I saw him glancing at my scars and I just crossed my arms into the chest so he couldn't see.  "You know you don't have to hide them from me.  Ashton told me what happened.  I'm genuinley sorry for what I did to you and I promised myself that I would never do that to you ever again.  I actually have been texting this girl lately.  Her name is Daisy and I really think that she might be the one.  She's amazing."  Calum said as he started to drive us back to the house.

"I'm glad Cal.  You deserve an amazing girl.  You seem to really like her."  I said as I saw his goofy smile appear and his cheeks turned a red color.  I felt my phone vibrate and I saw it was a text from Michael.

MIkeyyyy <3: Jess where are you I can't find you???????

I texted him back and told him that I had felt claustrophobic surrounded by all of the fans and that I had called Calum to pick me up and we were on our way back to the house.  I mean, half of it was true.  I didn't want to tell him about the fans, it was just make him angry and I knew that for a fact.  I told him we would just meet back at the house and we could have a cuddle session with scary movies marathon.  He said ok and I put my phone down.

 "I'm tired Cal..."  I said as I dragged out my words as we got back to the house.

"That would be the jet lag kicking in Jess."  He said as we walked up to the front door and went inside.  I immediately rushed right up to my room.  I didn't want to tell him but my wrists had been itching and there was a small voice in my head telling me to cut.  I took apart yet another razor and kept one while hiding the others.  I quietly locked the bathroom door and sank down onto the floor.  I realized that I couldn't cut on my wrists because the boys would immediately notice.  I pulled up my shirt and I ran the blade across my hip.  

After I had cut about twenty times, I stood up and put bandages on my side.  It hurt to touch and I knew it was a bad idea to promise Michael a cuddle and movie night.  I changed into a pair of sweatpants that Michael had given me so it was loose around my hip.  I threw on a comfy t shirt and made sure that my cuts were covered and not bleeding through the bandage.  I went downstairs and waited on the couch while texting Sam.

Sam xD : So what actually happened today J?

Me: Girls surrounded me....

Sam xD : You're going to have to tell Michael or someone other than me.

Me: I will.  I have to go though.  Michael is going to be here soon.  Ttyl

Sam xD : Ttyl J

I turned on the TV and went through all of the scary movies on Netflix before I decided on Insidious.  I laid back being careful not to completely reopen all of my cuts.  I heard Michael come in and he came and sat down next to me immediately wrapping his arms around me.  A pain shot up through my side but I tried to ignore it.

"I'm sorry that I lost you today.  Did anything happen with the fans?  Because if something happened I will not be able to live with myself."  Michael rambled on and I saw tears start to form in his eyes.  

"Nothing happened Mikey I'm perfectly fine."  I lied as I calmed him down.  I carefully cuddled into his side careful with my cuts and I slowly fell asleep in his arms.

**** Yeah I updated again hope you liked it and yeah :) please vote and comment ****