I'm Sorry // 5sos sister

24. Confused and Michael

"Calum..... I'm sorry but I don't think I love you. I mean, you shattered my heart and then you didn't even try and stop me from leaving. I thought about it almost every night and yeah, I like you, but not love." I said as I sat down in a chair on the opposite side of the room. I saw Calum rub his face with his hands and he stood up. Without saying a word to me he went up the stairs and disappeared into his room.

Ashton came into the room and pulled me up for a hug. "I'm glad that you listened to him but I do think you made the right decision. He isn't totally ready for a relationship like I thought he was." He said while stroking my hair as I lightly cried. I nodded my head in agreement and went back up to my room. I grabbed my phone from my night stand and texted Sam about what happened. She told me not to stress about it and that if he really did love me that he would continue to try and get me back, if not, he didn't.  I layed back on my bed and stared at my ceiling.  

A thought all of a sudden popped into my head.  Maybe Michael was the reason that I didn't fully love Calum.  I had always had a little crush on Michael but I never thought I would like him that much.  I decided to rest on it and take a short nap since I only did get like four hours of sleep.  

"You know, I really do like you, a lot." Mikey said as he grabbed my hand as we walked.  He spun me around while we both laughed.

"I like you too." I said as I looked up at him.  He leaned in and locked our lips together.  He wrapped his arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around his neck. He rested his forehead on mine and pecked my nose.  

I didn't want the dream to end to be completely honest.  It was one of the best dreams that I had and Mikey actually made me feel safe.  I felt comfortable around him.  As I thought about it more, I realized that Mikey and I had more in common than Calum and I.  We both loved all types of video games and just sitting around doing nothing, unlike Calum who always wanted to be doing something.  

Don't get me wrong, I did love Calum, just not in the way I thought.  He is more a brother to me, kind of like Luke.  But Michael never made me feel that way.  With Michael I was just a normal girl, not Ashton's little sister. Michael also was the first person I told about my cutting.  I naturally trusted him with anything.  I can't trust Calum anymore. 

I don't know what to do.  I don't want to tell anyone because then it would eventually get to Calum and he would flip out.  I also didn't want Michael to know.  It would just make everything awkward.  I decided that if Michael asked me out, then I would say yes.  I knew it would take time because of the Calum situation but I would let Michael make the decision.

I got up from my bed after about two hours of just scrolling Tumblr, Instagram, and Twitter.  I was beyond hungry.  I made my way to the kitchen and looked in our fridge.  Absolutely nothing to eat, except for a jar of vegemite.  I wouldn't dare touch it because Ashton is the vegemite king in the house.  I needed to go grocery shopping and badly.  

"Ashton!!!!" I screamed through the house hoping he would hear me through the many rooms.

"What is it Jess?!?" I heard him yell back.  He came into the room after a few minutes and I gestured to the fridge.  He looked inside and grabbed the vegemite.  He took the vegemite and went back up to his room.  He could really be an ass sometimes.  

I knew my next best bet was Michael.  Luke was over at Brenna's and Calum hated me at the moment.  I yelled for Michael and he came down the steps immediately already dressed in jeans and a Blink 182 shirt.  I pointed at the fridge and he nodded. "I've been waiting for someone to go to the store with.  The guys are such pigs." He said in a girl's voice which made me laugh.  I grabbed my shoes and we headed to the store.

Michael and I decided that since the other guys were too lazy to get up and go to the store, we would just buy what we wanted and hide it in our rooms.  We both filled a basket with food and drinks and checked out.  When we got back to the house, we had to be sneaky because the boys were in the living room.  We crept behind the couch and climbed up the stairs very carefully to make sure they didn't squeak.  I packed my mini fridge full of the drinks I got and hid my chips and other things in the bottom of my closet under a pile of clothes.  

I went into Michael's room and helped him hide his stash around his room.  Once we successfully put everything into a hidden spot, we decided to play some video games because I really didn't want to have to face Calum again, which thankfully Michael understood.  In the middle of one game, I told Michael that I was going to bed and stood up.  

He got up and hugged me and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.  I turned around and left the room with butterflies in my stomach.  That never had happened with Calum.  I tucked myself into bed and dozed off thinking of Michael.

****** Well, Messie has emerged!!!! Jalum shippers please don't be mad at me, Calum will still be there throughout the rest of the story.  I hope you liked it and yeah :) comment and vote please it helps me a lot to update more :))))))) *******