fake [s.m] (REWRITE)

chapter nineteen

[third person]
-

shawn could feel the emptiness that surrounded him. he couldn't deny that falling asleep was harder when she was away from him. he could hear her quiet sniffles from the bunk opposite his, he could feel her sadness, but why was she so sad?

didn't she find someone else? shawn thinks to himself, wiping away the silent tears from his cheeks. why is she crying? shawn sighs to himself, climbing out of his bunk, and walking to the main part of the bus, opening the fridge, and taking out a bottle of water.

"oh hey," andrew says, seeing shawn come into the main part of the bus. "woah, what happened?" he asks, more concerned once he sees shawns composure.

"girls," he mutters, sitting down and letting a tear roll down his cheek. "i don't get it. how does she always move to someone else? what am i doing wrong?"

"what? she found someone else?" andrew asks, feeling complete sympathy to anya. "no, that doesn't sound right."

"well she did. she told me when i asked her to be my girlfriend," he says bitterly, letting out a frustrated sigh. "she always wants more. i'm never enough for her. doesn't her selfish head understand that i have feelings? i'm not just someone you can lead on."

"shawn-"

"i don't want to hear it, andrew. i get it, you guys have got a close bond, but i'm hurt. she's found someone else. no wonder why she didn't speak to me for three weeks," he says, wiping his eyes raw, and letting another sigh escape his lips.

anya heard every single word shawn uttered, and her heart hurt, but she knew deep down that it was easier to lie than to tell him the truth. the truth would break him, and she knew he would probably risk his career. it was easier for her to go instead of her staying and getting shawns future shows called off.

shawn sighed yet again, and stood up from the couch, heading back to his bunk, and climbing inside.

he just wanted to know why.

anya let a tired breath escape her chapped lips, rubbing her cheeks yet again, the streaks of mascara finding their way all over her puffy face. she was completely heartbroken, she wanted nothing more than to crawl into shawns embrace, and have him hold her, telling her everything would be okay.

it was going to be a long night for the two of them.
-
"hey, gerty?" anya asks softly, her voice raspy and congested from all of her crying the previous night. andrew turns around, clipboard in hand, and his face completely softens.

"you told him you found someone else?" he asks her, as she nods, taking a shaky breath, and steadying herself. "why?"

"i-it was easier," she mumbles, folding her arms against her chest, feeling her lower lip tremble again. "c-can you book me a flight back to la?"

"you're leaving?"

"i can't stay here," anya mutters, her eyes welling up with tears. "i'm so sorry, andrew."

"don't apologise, the team at island are just being dumb," andrew tells her, giving her a hug, letting anya sigh softly, and settle into the only sign of comfort she's received. "you sure you don't wanna stay for tonight's show?"

"i'm sure," she mumbles. "i-i just need to go somewhere away from here."

"i though you would go to new york," andrew says gently, pulling away from the hug.

"even though new york is home, i have no one there. i need my family," she says, shuffling in her feet. "thank you for everything, andrew."

"go sit back in the bus, i'll get your flight sorted out, okay?" andrew tells her softly, making anya nod, and stand up straighter.

"gerty? can you tell shawn that i didn't want to hurt him?" she questions, her voice cracking at the end. "i-i just want him to know that i really didn't want to hurt him."

"of course," andrew nods, making anya smile sadly, before sniffling, and letting a tear roll down her cheek.

"thank you," she whispers, turning around sharply, and exiting the arena as quickly as she can, heading straight back to the bus.

she felt the cold atmosphere as soon as she entered.

her eyes scanned the scene, seeing shawn sitting on the couch, his head in his hands, and his composure visibly upset. he was crying, and she knew it. her heart shattered, she wanted nothing more than to hold him, tell him everything was going to be okay, repair what happened between them, but she knew that shawn wouldn't ever listen to her.

she's betrayed him one too many times.

something snaps in shawn, and he realises someone else is in the room. he quickly looks up, making anya's breath hitch in her throat, and tears prick her own eyes.

"y-you have no right to be crying," he shoots at her, glaring through his teary eyes. "you are such a fucking disgrace to me. i can't fucking believe you."

"s-shawn please-" anya starts, the tears finding their way down her cheeks.

"no. i don't want to see you ever again. you don't belong here, you never did, andrew probably hired you out of pity, and i can't even believe i fell in love with you." he snaps, anger taking over his entire composure.

love?

"y-you what?" anya stutters, completely shocked at what she was hearing.

"get out!" shawn yells, standing up sharply from the couch, his voice shaking, and making anya tremble in her stature. "get out! i don't want to fucking see you!" she stays frozen in her place, making shawn writhe with anger, and storm towards her, his tall frame towering over her. "why are you still here? get out!"

"d-don't yell at me," she says, but it comes out more as a whisper. "p-please don't yell at me."

"i have every right to yell at you however fucking long i want to," he mutters sharply, clenching his fists in his hands. "i hate you. you will never ever get to fucking breathe the same air as me, i will make your life a living hell if you even bother to contact me again."

anya couldn't stop shaking. her breath had caught in her throat, and she felt completely numb to everything.

"leave. drop off the face of the earth. no one fucking wants you, no one will ever want you, not even the guy you've left me for. you are the most selfish person i have ever met, and i regret ever being attracted to you," he snaps, his words dripping with pure venom. "leave. don't ever come back."

"shawn-"

"what did i fucking tell you?" he screams, grasping onto her arm, squeezing with force, making anya's eyes go completely wide. "get out!"

"s-shawn please, y-you're hurting me," she begs, clawing at his strong hand, trying to ease his fingers away from her.

"good," he mutters, dropping her arm sharply, and folding his arms against his chest. "you never deserved the time i put into you. i trusted you again. you don't deserve anything good in the world."

anya stayed silent, making shawn scoff, and roll his eyes.

"get the fuck away from me before i call security," shawn mumbles, looking away from her shaking body.

anya nods, quickly escaping the bus, rubbing her sore arm, leaning her back against the black body of the tour bus, letting the tears fall freely down her cheeks.

love?