"I woke up in my large pink room. I got out of bed, and went downstairs into my kitchen and ate Cocoa Pebbles. "Don't you miss mom and dad?" my brother asks. "Yes but they're gone forever because they thought we weren't worth their time and left when we were young, remember?" I answered. Then I headed back upstairs to see what to wear. I decide to wear a blue and black plaid button-up shirt, light blue Hollister skinny jeans, and a pair of navy blue Vans. Then I put my long straight brown hair into a ponytail. Then I put some makeup on my face. I have really tan skin. So I'm, like, super special 💁. Nobody in my family has dark skin and green eyes like me. Then I headed of to school in my 2013 Kia Altima."
When you write like that, it makes people want to stop reading, and you know why? I honestly don't know how to describe it other than basic. A thesaurus and some metaphors will do one well. Honestly, use your best judgement on what to describe.
"I woke up in my bedroom, leftover pink from a childhood when the world was brighter. I headed downstairs for my favorite breakfast to this day; Cocoa Pebbles, before heading back upstairs to get ready. In my closet hang my favorite flannels, thrifted from the days when my parents were still around and provided what they could to dress us. I throw one on with my ripped jeans and ratty Vans. When I finally look in the mirror it seems to be someone else staring back at me. I was an anomaly in my family, the black sheep. Pulling my curly hair up into a ponytail, I stared back at my own green eyes in my reflection, imagining what it was like to see myself in real life. Would I even recognize myself?"
Feel free to plagiarize friends. Literally, I don't care. Just know there are ways to describe things without outright saying what they are, and tying it in to the story.
Overall, leave some room for imagination. Maybe your readers want to place themselves in the story, and for the good of us all please don't tell me how she got ready in a chapter that tops the Scientific Journal.
Then there's always the "I have tan skin, green eyes, and dark brown hair. I'm really small, and for some reason I have like massive boobs. Like why are my boobs big? It's so annoying! But anyway I'm so ugly and everyone hates me and I get bullied at school."
I'm not even going to comment on this.
आप पढ़ रहे हैं
How To Not Write Like an Idiot
बेतरतीबHave you had the problem of people falling asleep reading your story? Ever had to tie someone up and gag them to make them skim through your book? Read this.
