How To Not Write Like an Idiot

Out of Place Descriptiveness

Caption this picture ^

We were busy babysitting his siblings, watching the latest episode of Mr. Rodgers, when my boyfriend (only the fifth of this month) leaned in. Suddenly our lips-
What did they do?
Did they connect?
Did they drool?
Did they fall off?
No,
They CRASHED.
(Like Adam Levine's career *cough just saying)
Girl, I'd be calling the dentist.
That is an awful use of that word.
You could just as easily say:
...There was a collision of lippy flesh...
That sentence just makes me uncomfortable.
Can I just ask writers that write nondescriptively and uncreatively to stop putting descriptive adjectives -or verbs in this case- in the middle of their writing.

I was alone on a street when a person said, "Give me your money," because they were mugging me. "No," I said. They pulled out a gun and took my $500 Prada Limited Edition purse. They ran away and I cried and called my ex.

It was Black Friday so my chicks went with me to the mall. Sharkeisha eyed the man behind the counter as I checked out my cat litter. She gave him a wink and he gave her his number. Sharkeisha waltzed away victoriously as I dragged my 40-pound cat litter to my car.

You can't just use description only once in your writing and call it good enough.

I was by my lonesome on the avenue when a savage she-man beast approached me, demanding I fork over my hard-earned cash. I denied her request, and she responded by pulling out a handgun. This time, I didn't object when she snatched my $500 Prada Limited Edition purse. They sprinted away while I sobbed and dialed my ex boyfriend's number.

Now my description of her Prada bag seems much less out of place than before.

I'm not rewriting the second one.

•••I'm sorry I never update but I'm actually writing a book that I'm not publishing until it's close to completed and my Wattpad time is consumed by that.•••