How To Not Write Like an Idiot

Passive Voice

As many of you noticed I accidentally published this when it was really just a memo to myself to write a chapter on passive voice.

I am giving you this chapter because I haven't updated with an actual chapter in a long time.

A lot of this book is really just me learning things in college composition and then spewing them out to you.

1) Some person played the guitar.
2) The guitar was played.

1 is active voice, 2 is passive voice.
Active means that the person or main subject is doing the action. In passive voice, however, the main subject or person, or the do-er of the thing is either not there or is being acted upon by someone/something else. This is confusing to you probably.

Here are some examples.
Active:
1) Zayn left the band.
2) Everyone abandoned the Trump train long ago.
3) A musician played the piano downstairs.

Passive:
1) The band was left by Zayn.
2) The Trump train was abandoned long ago.
3) A piano was played downstairs.

I guess you just really get it after a while but you might still be confused.

Basically, if you can add "by Jay Leno" after the verb in a sentence it is passive.

"Orlando Bloom was mugged." Well who mugged him? Jay Leno did. The sentence is passive. (In this sentence Orlando Bloom is actually used as a direct object just like piano in #3 up there)

"Tina Fey mugged Orlando Bloom." This is active because "Tina Fey mugged by Jay Leno Orlando Bloom" doesn't work.

Though you could say "Tina Fey, mugged by Jay Leno, bloomed in Orlando." This is beside the point.

You are probably wondering why anyone cares in the first place.

Well, instead of saying "someone" did this or "a person who we don't know" did this, we can just use passive voice.

I could use a famous headline as an example.
Active
Tina Fey helped Amy Poehler hide from Donald Trump at Adele's concert.
Passive
Amy Poehler was hidden from Donald Trump at Adele's concert by Tina Fey.

Apparently that actually happened.

Anyway, you may not have a single clue what I'm talking about, but just remember that if you're writing and you want to say that something was done but not give a person/name then use passive voice.

I mean there are other ways too.

Someone painted graffiti on the wall.

Graffiti was painted on the wall.
Graffiti could be seen on the wall.
A graffitied wall could be seen.

Anyway, quit saying "some person ate my chips."
Say "my chips were eaten" and you can sound like you have your life together.

Okay this is really overdramatic and kind of pointless but thanks for listening.

I'm sorry to Orlando Bloom for having him be mugged in my examples and I tip my hat to you for punching Bieber in the presence of Leo. I mean if Leonardo DeCaprio was cheering me on I'd probably punch anyone too.

And I'm sure Jay is a great guy.

Not Jay Gatsby because I just talked about Leo, but I mean Jay Leno the guy who mugged Orlando in my examples. Just so you're not confused.

I haven't gotten much sleep in two days.