How To Not Write Like an Idiot

PRIVATE CHAPTER HEHE

This is a private chapter- only my followers will see this as a little thanks for following me (: and because it might not be okay to have public...

If you unfollow me after reading this, I won't care. Do it, I would unfollow me too

(THIS FIRST PART I WROTE A LONG TIME AGO SKIP IT IF YOU WANT TO)

Let me tell you about me...
I cheerlead (duh)
I play some instruments
I like black coffee

I really don't know what to put in this chapter...
How about a story?

Once we beat our rival football team 55-0 which must have been embarrassing, so we were doing a car smash for a fundraiser, and the hood had 55-0 painted on it.
I go to a small school so we smashed it and crap, and then the hood was going to be kept as like a memorandum.
Some stoner kid took the hood during lunch and put it at the top of the stairs. All I heard was "AARON NO!" before a loud crashing. The kid sledded down the main stairway of our school on a car hood.

^okay THAT was a long time ago, and I'm not deleting what I wrote before, I'm just adding to the chapter.

ACTUAL START OF CHAPTER:

CREEPY AND RAUNCHY

This is dedicated to
Sciccorkickdallas
*I don't know how to tag people but I'll tag her in the comments

She sent me a message to me that was really nice and funny, but she also mentioned a growing problem on this website; creepy kinky fanfiction.
I can say I haven't read much of this because I'm never really in the market for books about getting steamy with Channing Tatum or whatever but I have definitely seen them on the Discover page.

These books disturb me, not because of a plot containing underaged girls, sex-crazed 20-year-olds, and awful pet names, but because of the writing itself.

Like I have mentioned before, I hate reading a book that has basically no description, then seeing a sex scene that would make E.L. James jealous.

First of all, you need Jesus.
Really though you do, everyone needs Jesus.

We wuz plannin a date and he called me "hey what's up he said." lets have a date next like Tuesday or something I responded. So We went on are date We were in a empty place and were both hot and swetty.
I heard his heavy breaths close to me. I hooked my fingers under the elastic and felt around. This was the closest I'd been to getting inside any man's apparel. "Just grab it," he said. "I can't find it."
Sighing, he reached inside his own pants and began to pull out his long
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flashlight. Gosh darn water bottles, you can never find them in those stupid side pockets in backpacks. This really slowed down our hiking trip, we still had three more miles.

Then there are those people that just have a horrible plot altogether.

So I was super excited to be meeting THE Hairy Tiles. I was at his amazing concert. Of course my rich parents bought my best friend and I backstage passes.
We were the only ones backstage with the whole band because nobody else at the concert is rich enough like my dad, inventor of the toaster strudel *reference hehe.
"I have to pee," my friend said, so Miles Whoran took her to have a Pee Party because that's what they do in Britain, right? Wait no, he's the Italian one.
Anyway, Bane Malice offered me a drink.
I drank it.
Hairy Tiles whispered in my ear, "Let's go somewhere private, ay mate?"
Bane, who had shifted into a werewolf, tipped his hat to Hairy. "G'day mate."
"Bye boo, holla at ya later," Hairy shouted back.
Hairy Tiles brought me into his tiled tour bus and laid me on the hairy tiles.
Suddenly fangs popped out and sank into my neck. I giggled.
"Let's get down to business," he said.
"To defeat the huns!" we heard from the bathroom.
"Miles Whoran get out of the loo!" Hairy shouted. "Your pee party is over!"
"Italians do that?" I asked.
"Well, it's most common for the Russians."
Suddenly Miles and my friend popped out from the bathroom.
My friend winked at me before Miles pushed her out of the door.
The three of us were alone on the bus.
"Don't you have a concert to perform at?" I asked the two. "Nah, we'll just skip it like Bane and his career," Hairy responded.
Suddenly Miles' hair sprouted orange and rainbows began coming from his mouth like on Snapchat but way more realistic.
"Miles, Irish you would stop doing that," Hairy said.
Miles froze and looked at Hairy.
"I'm not Italian."
"What? No, Miles, you love breadsticks," Hairy responded.
"No. I'm not Italian.... I'm... I'm.... ......Irish."
And then Miles went to perform at the concert and Hairy and I made Mac & Cheese and I went on tour with them. I took Bane's bed. Idk about my friend though.

AND ONE LAST REMINDER REMEMBER TO ALWAYS PUT YOUR PUNCTUATION INSIDE THE QUOTATIONS, AND ONLY HAVE QUOTATIONS AROUND WHAT THE PERSON SAID.

EXAMPLE:

Incorrect:
"Turn down the heat in the bungalow", he said.

Incorrect:
"I had a nice conversation with my cat this afternoon, he said"

Correct:
"Whatever floats your goat," he said.

Ok one actual last thing, all you people who love Jesus leave him out of your books. He should get a place there too. Don't forget Him.

Ok bye.

Hehe.