"The agency decided to drop you." My eyebrows furrow and I take my phone away from my ear to make sure it wasn't a prank call.
"What- What do you mean?"
"I mean that the contract was terminated and they no longer need your services. Sorry, Azariah. I can no longer be your manager. Contact the Head Director if you have anymore questions. Goodbye." Before I had the chance to say anything else, he hung up.
I feel like throwing up. My breaths started shortening, causing me to panic even more. I had to calm myself down with my baby in my arms. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. I just lost my job. My one source of income. I was supposed to be doing shoots, booked for the next 5 months under this agency.
Seeing me sobbing, my son started to cry with me. If he sees someone sad, he gets a little sad too. I know exactly who he got it from, too.
I felt Zahir's little hands touch my face. It almost looked like he was trying to wipe my tears. I wipe his and hug him close to me. I finally stop crying and kiss his head. "I'm sorry, bubba. I didn't mean to make you cry." I touch on his neck so he would laugh and stood up with him in my hands.
I take him all the way to Jahseh's room where he had a new walker. He actually moves around in this one. I laid down on Jah's bed and turned my phone off. I need a break. Maybe I needed to get fired.
No, I needed that money. I was supposed to be finding a place to live. What am I gonna tell Jahseh? I told him I had a job. Even if he didn't care, he might try to get me another job and I'd feel terrible. I want to fix this on my own. The moment I feel like I can't fix my own grown up problems, I'll feel like a bad mother to my child. He can't know.
"AZZY?" Speak of the devil and he doth appear.
"I'm in your room!" I yelled back.
He soon emerged through the doorway with a small smile on his face. The first thing he did was take Zahir out of his walker.
"You alright, Azzy?" He sat down next to me.
"Yeah, I'm fine, SehSeh." I smiled up at him.
"Okay, just making sure." He stared at me with a smile on his face.
"What?" I look away from his gaze and down at Azahir who was playing with Jah's hands.
"You're one of my favorite people in the world. I love you so much," he said softly. He's so hECking cute. I love him so much.
"I feel the same way, Papa," I kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry for everything before. I missed you a lot."
"I missed you too. But we don't have to talk about that. You here now and y'all not going nowhere."
"Jahseh... I wanted to have my own place. I don't want to have to live off you."
"Well Azzy get used to it. We're a family and families don't split up." He said before looking back down at our son who was kicking his legs in pure happiness.
"Okay." I agreed after a while. I don't want to split up either. I really don't even have a choice at this point.
"Where you wanna go today?" He asked me brightly.
"I'm not sure. I haven't been over here in a long time."
"How about Walmart. Get some snacks and what not?"
"That's fine with me," I looked up at his eyes as he patted Zahir on his back in an attempt to burp him.
"Perfect." He kissed my lips quickly. "Let's get lil man dressed."
•••
Turns out, neither of us wanna leave the house. So here we stay. We decided to rest up and chill together for the rest of the day because tomorrow, the whole mob coming through.
"Jahseh move I can't see, boy." I mugged him and he scurried out the way.
"Stop yelling at me, mama," he started fake crying. I shake my head at him and continue to rock our son to sleep.
"Here, I got him. Turn on the game for me?"
"I'm watchin something."
"Ok? We about to play the game now so turn it on."
"You must take me for a hoe or sum'n" I mugged him.
"I meant please. C'mon, ta-ha," he giggled while lifting our son and starting to put him to sleep.
Jahseh
Hours later, we were still up playing video games. I eventually placed her in my lap while we played against each other. "Stop cheating. I swear to God, Azariah. If you're cheating, don't ever touch my shit again. I don't want you near my games."
"Boy hush, ain't nobody cheating."
"It's fine. I still love you to some extent." I cheesed.
"That's why you losin', bitch ass boy."
"What happened to baby boy?" I responded. Neither of us dared to turn out heads from the screen or to stop vigorously pressing buttons on the controller.
"Baby boy getting his ass sniped."
"That's how it is?" I chuckled, glancing at her.
Azariah
"It is. That's how." Next thing I know I'm on the floor.
"I should tase yo' little ass!" I smacked his leg.
"You smaller shawty," he laughed.
"It's not funny," I stood up.
"Cmere," jahseh smiles in my face, pulling me into him. The game was paused by now.
"No get off me. We playin' something else since you think somebody cheatin'." I frown my face up and stomp over to the ps4 and switching the game out.
"Azzy, come here." His voice was more firm.
I turned around to look at him. "What do you want?"
"I just want you up under me, damn!" He raised his voice again.
"I was coming right the fuck back so don't get loud with me!"
"Girl-" he hopped up and grabbed me before tossing me on the bed. "Imma show you who the fuck gettin loud with who. How bout that?"
All of a sudden, I caught his mood. I smirked to myself and let him touch on me a little. Our lips lock for a minute and the vibe started heating up.
"Waaahhhhhh"
"Oh my fucking God," Jahseh groans and plops down. He was about to get back up but I stop him.
"I got him. I'll be back, papa." He bit his lip and muttered a 'hurry up' before I scurried off to Zahir's room. I calm him down quickly and gently set him down before running back. When I enter our room, I hear Jah's light snores.
Of course. I kiss his cheek and tuck in next to him.
Sweet Dreams Papa.
