Falling In A Forest (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 10

Trigger Warning: self harm.
Edit July 7: Combined chapters 10 and 11 together
Evan's POV
"Look dude. You need to break up with Connor." Jared states blandly, leaning up against my locker.
"B-but w-why?"
"Because he's batshit fucking crazy! Yesterday he-"
RING RING! Jared was cut off by the sound of the bell ringing, informing us third period was starting.
"I-I gotta go to class. T-tell me later." I turned to walk away, but Jared grabs my arm pulling me towards him.
"Just skip with me."
"B-but I can't...That's bad.."
"Oh boo hoo, Evan's afraid! I know you can handle this. Besides it's not bad unless you get caught." Jared winked at me, shooting me with awkward fingers guns.
"Dude. I'm your best family friend, why would I get you in trouble?"
I really wanted to find out what he was going to say about Connor early, but I didn't want to skip class. I don't have a single bad bone in my body. I very reluctantly gave in and decided to skip class with Jared.
"F-fine, but this is a one time thing."
"Whatever lets go." My mom would kill me if she found out I was skipping school, especially knowing who I was with.
I followed Jared as he lead to me to one of the back doors behind the school, Jared opened the door and carefully slid the the door, holding it open allowing me to come out. He held onto the door and gently shut it, reducing the noise.
After we successfully escaped school, he proceeded to tell me about the plan he had.
"This is what we are going to do" He explained. "We are going to hop the fence and take a bus to the junkyard."
The bus stop was located midway between my house and our school.
I knew what I was doing was bad and I shouldn't be doing it, but of course I agreed. We climbed over the barbed wire fence cautiously, I have little to no upper body strength so pulling myself over the fence was extremely difficult.
As we walked I constantly kept looking behind me, I was paranoid like someone was following us.
"Okay you need to stop crying."
"I'm not crying." I reply defensively.
"Because if you start crying, then I'm gonna start crying, then you're gonna start crying even harder and.."
"I'm not crying!" I repeat more aggressively.
"You're just cute as a freaking bunny."
We finally made our way out of view of the bus stop. We stood there in silence, my heart racing in fear.
'This was such a bad idea.' I thought to myself.
The bus drove away, the bus was packed to the brim, I felt every bump we hit along uneven dirt road. My sweaty hands felt numb from holding the rusty metal railings, my feet hurt from being stepped on. Hot, sweaty strangers were pressed firmly up against my body making me feel claustrophobic. After what felt like years, we arrived at our chosen destination.
As I walk into the junkyard, I immediately notice the smell, it smells like rotting garbage. I can feel the humidity in the air. There were destroyed cars, broken bottles, and other broken things scattered all over the place.
There were a set of train tracks that ran through the junkyard, we always liked to play on train tracks ever since we were kids. It was a dumb and dangerous thing to do, but train tracks always seemed to calm me down for some reason.
We walk down the train tracks, side by side our fingers interlocked. I stumble and start to fall forward, Jared tightens his grip on my hand pulling me back.
"Can we build another tree house and shut the world out?"
"Yeah. At least nobody would find us."
He lets go of my hand and we lay down on the train tracks, staring up at the sky.
"So, what were you gonna tell me about Connor."
"Well yesterday, he basically got pissed at me and started threatening to kill me for no reason, than he said he wanted money from like two fucking years ago." I nodded, to let him know I was paying attention. "Than he pulled a gun on me." I tensed up and started hyperventilating. Was he lying? Connor wouldn't do that would he?
"It wasn't loaded so chill." I let out a sigh in relief. "Than the fire alarm went off and he wasn't at school today."
"I can't believe he did that to you."
"I know right? He said I was number one on his hit list too."
"B-but Connor's a good person-" Jared cuts me off before I can finish speaking.
"No, he's a bad person. You're just too blind to see how much of an asshole he is."
"I-if you took the time to get to know him, you would see his good side."
"No Evan, Connor has no good side. You have fucking Stockholm Syndrome." Jared replies aggressively, pushing his glasses up farther on his face.
"I don't! He loves me... I know he does." I desperately try to convince Jared, that Connor is a good person to no avail.
"I'm just trying to save you from getting hurt. You can do so much better." Maybe Jared was right. Maybe I should break up with Connor. There was an uncomfortable silence that fell between us.
"It's weird talking to you about this shit." He comments, switching into a sitting position. "We haven't hung out this much since we were twelve."
I felt my phone buzz in my pocket, curiously I took it out to check my text .
Connie: ev. are we still hanging out tonight?
"Whose texting you?" Jared snatches my phone out of my hand before I can respond.
"Ditch him. Hang out with me instead."
"B-but."
"C'mon it'll be fun!" He punches my arm playfully. "Besides the last time my parents used their liquor cabinet was like, Rosh Hashanah 1997, we can drink whatever we want!"
"I-I don't know.."
"We need to celebrate your break up!" He stood up, grabbing my hands, pulling me up onto my feet. "We need to get stoned in my basement!"
He grabs my left hand, and places my thumb on my home button, unlocking my iPhone. "What are you doing?"
Before I can interject or do anything, I watched as he hits send. I immediately take my phone back and read what he sent Connor.
TreeBro: I'm hanging out with my best friend. ya know the one you tried to murder?
TreeBro: you're annoying fuck off.
Ding
Connie: well you don't have to be a dick
Connie: why did I think you actually loved me? you're just like everyone else
Connie: fuck you evan asshole.
"WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT JARED?" I hiss, tears brimming in my eyes, spilling out uncontrollably from my face.
*Time skip*
I'm crying, I'm angry, I'm in the middle of a panic attack. My room is a mess. I'm cuddled I'm a ball under my bed bawling, I have Connor's hoodie wrapped around me, taking in his scent, imagining he was there to comfort me.
Blinds completely shut, sheets and pillows pulled off my bed and on the floor.
I wonder if Connor's mad at me. Well obviously he's mad at me. I called and texted him a million times but he won't answer. I want Connor. I want him to wrap his arms around me, and tell me everything's going to be okay. I want him to cuddle and kiss me, telling me how much he loves me.
I'm so mad at Jared right now, he just ruined my relationship with Connor. I crawl out from under my bed and continue to throw stuff at my walls in rage. As I'm doing that, I see a bottle of pills sitting on my dresser.
I don't even bother to read the labels, I swallow all 500 pills without thinking. I feel my body tense up, my knees give out and collapse on the floor. I feel sharp pains go through my stomach, I start to throw up. My body starts rejecting the pills, I laid on the floor throwing up and suffering for about an hour.
Was I dying? I had to be. I won't cause any more problems. I promise, I won't say another word, I will think things through. I've only been on this earth 17 years, you can't kill me yet.
My head was pounding, my vision grew blurry as more tears filled up my eyes.
Using all the energy I have left, I move my stiff limbs across the room,I reach for my phone using my fingerprint to unlock it. I desperately hit the call button for the first person I saw. My body froze, I couldn't move, I saw a bright light for a couple of seconds, than everything went black.
Connor's POV
Ring ring
Evan was calling again. I didn't want to pick up, I was pissed at him. I had a feeling in my stomach that I hated.
Something was wrong with Evan, I ran down to his house, the front door was open. I stormed into his bedroom, he's on the floor in a ball. His face is so pale, but he's conscious. I scan the room and beside him I see an empty bottle of Zoloft. There was a pool of vomit next to him. I put his my arm around my shoulder and lean him back up.
"C-Connor?"
"You fucking idiot." I bite my lip and break into an ugly sob. I fell apart and broke into pieces.
"C-Connor.."
"You scared me. You fucking scared me." I'm shaking harder than him now, I lean in and leave a gentle kiss on his forehead.
"I'm s-s-scared. I-I w-want to live... I'm begging you..."
"Shh shh. You're okay. I'm not letting you die." I reassured him.
I need to get the drugs out of his system, if I called an ambulance they'd do what they did to me. Send you to rehab, where they treat you like a prisoner, and I wouldn't be able to see him for a long time. I don't want to put Evan through that. I hover over him, holding him away from me, I gently open up his mouth. I forcefully shove my fingers down his throat, forcing him to throw up, I rubbed his back soothingly as I do so, trying to calm him down. I managed to get Evan to throw up four times, before it's all just dry heaving.
"C-Connor."
"Shh..save your strength and stay alive.."
He looks back up at me and explained what happened, giving me another reason to want to kill Kleinman.
"I-I'm s-sorry..." He apologized.
"I forgive you." I stroke his hand gently, he snuggles closer to my chest. I just laid there and listened to his breathing. It let me know he was alive which gave me closure.
"P-promise we w-will be t-together forever?.." Tears spill out of his beautiful blue eyes, I press my thumb against his face and wipe them away.
"Forever."
I look down and observe the small boy nuzzled into my arm, I take notice of everything, the subtle freckles sprinkled across his pale face, how his eyes looked so relaxed, the way his stomach moved as he inhaled and exhaled. He looked so peaceful, at least compared to now he was a few minutes ago. How could I be so oblivious? I caused this. You're the reason Evan tried to kill himself. "I'm sorry. I promised I wouldn't do this again.."
I whisper to the sleeping boy, I run my fingers through his blonde locks, trying to bring myself comfort. I slowly slip out of Evan's grip, in an attempt not to wake him, he's been through enough today.
Finally released from his arms, I scan the room spotting a pencil sharpener on the desk, I grab it and shove and my pocket, and enter the bathroom. I remove the object from my pocket, and stomp on it until it breaks. Carefully, I reach into the pile and pull out the blade as my reward. I pull the sleeves of my sweater up, wincing as I ran my hand over the scars scattered along my arms. Some were deep, while others barley left a mark.
Taking the blade, I forcefully pushed the sharp edge into my forearm, allowing it to pierce my skin. I cut for multiple reasons. One, I felt like I deserved it, my way of punishing myself for being a fuck-up. Two, the pain let me feel something. I guess cutting is the only thing I have control over, everything else in my life I don't control, it just happens.
Three, for some odd reason I enjoyed the sight of blood. How it flowed down my arms, soaking into my clothes, dripping onto the floor. I've done it so many times, certain sections of my arms don't even hurt anymore. Watching yourself bleed becomes addicting. I sunk the blade deeper into my flesh, it hurt a lot. I bit my lip harshly, desperately trying to hold back a scream, and I continued to carve into my flesh. Finally finished, I discarded the blade in the trash, My arm grew sticky and cold as the blood started to dry, starting to crust up as it did so.
'This is the last time I promise...' I thought while looking down at the blades in the trash.
Drip drip.
Blood covered the floor in crimson tinted puddles, the singly sweet metallic scent, lingers in the air.
Word Count: 2298