Falling In A Forest (DISCONTINUED)

Chapter 9

A/N: The first half is the chapter I posted yesterday. I combained it with another chapter to make it longer. Here you go!
Trigger Warning: anxiety attack and guns.

Evan's POV
Connor's parents thanked me over and over again for being here for him and all that stuff. Eventually they left to go get lunch with Zoe, leaving me and Connor alone again.
My checks turned red, than he started playing  with the hem of my sweater. Upon inspection, Connor realized he was wearing one of his hoodies.
It was way too big on me, half zipped up exposing my stripped shirt underneath.
It fell slightly above my knees, making me appear smaller than I actually was, the sleeves were extremely long and concealed up most of my arms. My hands were also completely covered, giving me sweater paws.
"Is that my hoodie?" Connor asked smirking at me.
"Y-yeah.. and you're probably never going to get it back..."
He stared into my eyes, and I stared back. His eyes were absolutely beautiful.
He noticed he was staring at me, and got embarrassed. Now breaking our eye contact.
"Um... hi." I poked his nose and stuck out my tongue playfully.
"You're fucking adorable. You know that right?"
I nodded slowly, feeling my hair bounce up and down as I did so.
"Hey so.. sorry about dragging you into all of this Ev. I fucked up really bad this time. I know I really scared you."
"I-..I didn't know t-that you were h-hurting l-like that."
"Evan.."
"That you felt so alone. How did I not know?" Tears stream aggressively down my face, I yank at my hair, growing more angry with himself. I should've known! Why didn't I do something?! God I'm so stupid!
"Because I didn't tell you."
Silence.
"I want to tell you what ACTUALLY happened. Not what everyone else thinks happened."
Than, he proceeded to tell me everything, than he just randomly started to laugh, while crying. Really hard like a maniac. I collapses in my arms, tears soaking through my shirt, I wrap my arms tightly around him and start to play with his hair. I remembered how much he loved it.
"Look at me." I put my hand under his chin and push it up, forcing him to make eye contact with me. "Babe, none of this is your fault. I am damaged, sometimes I just feel invisible. Like nobody would notice if I disappeared into thin air."
"I-I know what that f-f-feels like too. I-I feel like I have no voice, I t-try to speak but no words c-come out of my mouth. It frightens me to be a-around other people, but I don't want anyone to know that." He paused and took a breath before continuing.
"I walk through the halls, avoiding eye contact with anyone at all. I'm just trying to remain unseen." I rubbed his back soothingly, listening to everything he had to say.
"I-I always feel like I'm being watched, l-l I'm m-masking a fool out of myself. My stomach churns, my face goes red. I stammer, I hesitate, I don't remember w-what to say. Than I feel embarrassed."
"Shh. It's okay let it all out. I'm listening." I squeezed his hand tightly.
"It's easier to avoid social situations. O-on the first day of school, the teacher makes you go around and introduce yourself. I feel like everyone's judging and will laugh at me if I say the wrong thing or do something stupid." His voice cracked and quivered as he spoke. I will not leave Evan alone in this shit pit, I'll help him battle through his fight.
"Just l-like last year in English. I-I w-was supposed to give a speech a-about Nancy Drew..a-and I just stood there s-starring at my note cards..saying "um um" over and over again. T-That's what social anxiety feels like..."
Connor brushed a strain of hair out of my face and gestured for me to move closer to him, which I did.
Than he cupped my face with his hands, gently pulling me onto my lap, before connecting our lips together. My eyes closed naturally as our lips slowly glided over each other, he slid his tongue into my mouth gracefully tracing over my teeth. I was taken back at first but quickly got used to the feeling, and proceeded to wrestle with the boys tongue.
It wasn't like the first time we kissed, this time was very tender and loving.
"Gayyyyy." A voice spoke abruptly ending our kiss. Connor pulled back roughly and shot his head up glancing over at the person. Zoe. Now the girl who I've literally been  crushing on my entire life, knows I'm dating her brother, what if she likes me back? What if I had a chance with her? By dating Connor I ruined any possible connection we could've had!
"So, are you two like dating now?" I shrugged and looked away from her shyly.
"Yes, yes we are."