The Emancipation of Tune | Volume 1 | [Completed]

78th piece: Transition

Please listen to Astronomyy's song Things I'd Do For U linked above. Enjoy! :)

You don't know what's real until you feel

The little things you find, deep in your mind

Where you've been dreaming of is made of love

All those things you find will come in time

~ Astronomyy

Caralei

When dad and I were home, Aida already arranged everything inside the house and had prepared food for my private birthday celebration. Montessoro will be here in a few minutes since we all went back to work after my surprise birthday party in my office. My best friends will also be here together with my friends in the engineering department.

"Happy birthday Caralei!" Voj surprised me in the living room. He was carrying a huge bouquet of red roses and gave it to me once we got close to each other.

"Voj! Why didn't you tell me you have arrived already?" I hugged him tightly and he returned the gesture.

"Well, I also want to surprise you."

"Awww. Thank you, Voj. Please have a seat and relax. I'll just change."

"Sure. Sure." He smiled at me before I excused myself and went to my room. Before he completely disappeared from my sight, I saw my dad approach him, shook his hand and talked to him. Once I got inside my room, I arranged the flowers in a vase. Spotting my bed as a very tempting haven to relax right now, I went for it, bounced multiple times as I jumped on my bed and landed on it with a big force. A giggle escaped from me as I replayed what had happened today. Oh my God! Their surprise party for me was a memorable one. Plus, Montessoro... I blushed harder and I bit my lip. I can't help but smile at the happy and sweet experience I had earlier today. It touched my heart that they have given effort for my birthday. I felt special even though... even though I shouldn't deserve it. My joyful mood was ruined by the painful memories I have in the past. I don't deserve any of these. I sighed, feeling down. Another year has passed still feeling like this. Most of them don't know what had happened to me. I was used. I'm a piece of shit. They shouldn't mingle with a person like me who is dirty. I was abused, tortured, and violated. With my painful experience that brought anxiety, PTSD and anxiety attacks, I used those to forget. I wanted to believe that whenever I had sex, I wasn't the one being used but I can't. I slept with guys just to forget. I tried to forget but I can't. Every time I slept with men and they leave, I felt dirty again. I wanted to be loved. I wanted something out and I didn't get it. I am very complicated. I knew that to myself. Men can't take me as their girlfriend for I was 'too high- maintenance' as they say. They say I always demand things and they were always afraid when I got anxiety attacks. They're afraid and they don't want the burden. If ever people know what I have been through and what I have done to forget the crimes I have seen, they'll leave and I was afraid of that. They'll just be like everybody else. The boys who have seen my anxiety attacks and have left me was dealt by my dad. He talked to them together with a private lawyer. They shut up about it because of one thing they can't refuse. Money. Dad offered them payment for their silence and it worked so far. I still was worried one might speak of my violent episodes and I'll continue to worry until I don't know... die, I guess.

"Caralei? What's taking you so long? Guests are starting to arrive, my dear." I heard Aida speak outside of my closed room.

"Oh. Yeah! I'll be there in a minute!" I replied before getting out of bed. I went to my closet and changed into more comfortable clothes and shoes. I wanted a different look tonight for my birthday so I chose not to wear a dress. Instead, I picked out a fitted peach- colored tube top paired with loose high- waist black pants and nude heels. I let my curly hair loose and finger- combed them to make me look nice. I wore gold earcuffs and gold necklace to match with my outfit. I reapplied my makeup and once I was satisfied with my look, I went out of my room. They are all here. I saw all of them conversing with each other, smiles on their faces. Marc and the rest of the team were busy looking at my paintings hanged on the walls. I took a deep breath as I stepped in to the living room. All of them went silent once they saw me and my best friends gasped. I think Matt just went to heaven with the look of adoration and pride in his eyes. He was squealing and clapping his hands like a child receiving his first gift on Christmas. His eyes were shining brightly and his smile was from ear to ear. I knew this would impress him. He and Em kept on pushing me with bold fashion styles and whenever I actually do it, they really have that satisfied look on their faces. I looked at Montessoro and his mouth was hanging open with his hand in the air holding a glass of red wine.