Mosaic (Bucky Barnes X OC / Winter Soldier x OC)

Chapter 9: Bucky Barnes - Smoke Twisted Memories (Part I)

"Yes," I breathed out, barely able to pry my fingers from their grip on the blanket.

"How about some water?" she suggested, stopping the vibrating alarm to wake me.

I snatched the bottle off the nightstand. My shaking hands were barely able to twist off the cap. They crushed the plastic mid drink, spilling water everywhere. Even went up my nose.

"Is everything alright, Mr. Barnes? Your heartrate's gotten more erratic."

Through my coughing, I managed to choke out a, "I'm fine."

"If there's anything I could be with help with, Eve's the word," she repeated like she had ever since Valeriy told the A.I. ghost to leave me alone, which she has.

Anything beyond the bedroom door, though, was her domain.

Peeling off the water soaked blanket and gathering it in my arms, I headed off into the bathroom to hang the fabric over the curtain rod to dry. It was almost routine by now.

I peeked out of the curtains at the dark street lit by lamps.

Another quiet night. No extra shadows. Nobody wandering around, as it should be. Most were asleep at 0427.

Except for a few people.

Keys tapping on a laptop and a frustrated growl in the room next to this one. Valeriy's still awake. The young woman never had a regular sleeping cycle.

A cat darting between shadows and shrubbery.

A dim light in the window across the road. Likely the young boy of the household reading under a blanket with a light. The idea of it was almost... familiar.

Like a memory I could almost grasp.

A blanket tossed over my head. A lamp to light the dark space. A heavy book in my lap. Words filled my vision, etching themselves into my –

A slam of the laptop closing signaled Valeriy's retreat to the land of dreams. "Night Eve."

"Good night Val."

And the nightmare came crashing back into my mind. Curling up in the corner was all I could manage to hold it all together. Everything felt cold. Numb. My vision was narrowing to a point. All I could hear was my blood pumping at my ears.

That made me a useless asset. To be decommissioned.

'I need to be of use. Or... Or they'll –'

"Mr. Barnes? Is something the matter? Not to be dramatic, but your heart rate has skyrocketed, and your oxygen levels have plummeted."

I shook my head, pulling in a gasping breath. Desperately trying to calm down. To get everything back to normal. Waiting for my sight to clear up. Waiting for my lungs to stop screaming. Waiting for the next time I lose it all.

"Mr. Barnes? Shall I pull up our satellite feed of deep space? Would that help?" she questioned, a soft musical tune flowing through the speakers under her voice. Something classical.

"I'm... I'm fine. You don't have to baby me," I grunted out.

Letting the sniper training slam into place, I waited for the little lights on the bracelet to turn off. For my body to return to peace.

"Babying you would be quite different. This is merely holding out a hand. None of this is easy even with help. It's damn near impossible alone, Mr. Barnes."

I huffed a grumble in response, reaching for the notebook on the night table. If I could write it all out, the nightmares, maybe they'd stop. Or at least quiet down. Hopefully. Anything for my mind to find a figment of peace.