Past Demons and Answers

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It was safe to say that Stef Adams Foster couldn't sleep and it wasn't because of her babies being noisy for she barely heard them. It was because images of her old life continued to recycle in her mind and dreams to the point that she didn't know if it was a memory or not.  Of course she had no intentions of ever recycling back into that life but some of the dreams she was starting to struggle with had her returning to it where she lost Lena, her kids and ended up back in Chowchilla.  It was scary to say the least and often caused her to wake up with a racing heart and forgetting where she was until she heard her kids laughing and running around. Those sounds were a sound of relief making her heart beat once again as she would look at the photo of her and Lena on her nightstand bringing her back to reality.

These nightmares weren't knew but came and went. However, the last few weeks they were very persistent especially with the way Roxy was behaving. It had the blonde struggling for she knew if she wasn't on the straight path she would have put a bullet in her ending her life instantly and Stef would have never looked back and her family would be ok.  This straight path however, the one she was committed to following, had it's disadvantages. Oh lord did it ever including how slow she was able to make money, and how she had to find other ways to protect her family without looking like a pussy. That was the thing that Roxy knew, she knew Stef could only go so far and she took advantage of that. Big time. But what she was forgetting were the amount of friends the blonde had, friends that had been loyal and still were, and friends that supported her straight life even if they weren't on that path themselves.  And Violet Harris was one of them.

Her visit with her ex girlfriend the other night had not been planned but had been rather sporadic. She knew the darker skin woman with the long dreadlocks that she use to love to play in and the thick Jamaican accent still lived in the same home over on Willis Street and was trying to maintain a low profile herself working at a beauty salon. For the most part she was successful but when it was needed she did what she had too. Many times. 

During her visit the two talked and Stef was reminded of things she had forgotten. Things she wished she had never done, crimes she wish she had never committed, and people she wish she had never harmed. Maybe it was because she had grown softer, which Violet most certainly picked up on, and maybe it was because she was such a family person now. No longer the leader of any of her dads business, or the leader of the Lion's Den, or a cold blooded killer who didn't give a shit, she was honestly just Stef Adams Foster, a wife, mother and grandmother. Roles she was so happy and content with and roles she never thought she would be.

At one point in her life she owned nearly 200 guns storing them in various homes and locations along with the drugs and list of people and traitors her father ordered her to kill. This had been a life she was excited to live at the time, never wanting anything else. And it was a life she never thought she would leave.

FLASHBACK

"I think it's 100 grams baby in this bag. How many you want in the other?" Violet asked the blonde as the two sat fully naked on the bed packing drugs. Stef herself was cleaning her guns as she puffed on a cigarette smiling at her girlfriend.

"A bit more. Blow on this for good luck baby." She said moving the pistol to Violets mouth as the darker skin woman grinned at her blowing on the end of the gun.

"Ahh for you anything, I'll blow on something else too. If you let me." 

"MM I bet you will." The blonde winked. "Come here baby." Leaning in the two women kissed swirling their tongues around each others as Roxy barged in noticing them fully naked.

"Jesus. Are you two ever not fucking?" She joked plopping on her mattress with a nude magazine and beer in hand.

"Depends. Do you ever believe in knocking?" Vi said pulling away from the blonde.

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