before I knew it she was here. she entered my apartment and wanted to kiss me. I rejected.
"ok Pip what's up with you?"
I just pointed at the positive pregnancy test on the table.
she acted as she didn't know what it is.
"pff what's that. it's not mine."
"don't play fucking dump now. I'm not stupid."
"I don't know what you think. it is not mine.I have nothing to do with that."
"give me a good explanation of how this came into the bin."
she thought for a moment and started to unbutton her shirt.
"what the hell?! Emilie this is nothing that can be solved with sex!! explain. now."
she sighed and sat down.
"how long?" I asked her. my voice was croaking but I did my best to not be weak, to not cry.
"I'm with him for over three years."
wait what I'm the side chick?! the lump in my throat grew but I didn't interrupt her.
"I met you and I fell for you hard. the sex was amazing. you made my normal days adventurous. you are my little secret that I loved. I couldn't let it go. I know it's been wrong. I even considered leaving him and be all yours but I couldn't. he proposed to me. I couldn't leave you either Pip. I didn't want you to get hurt. I don't even want you to understand.."
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?! DID YOU THINK YOU COULD LIVE LIKE THAT FOREVER? WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? DO YOU EVEN REALIZE HOW MUCH THIS HURTS?" I couldn't held it in anymore. tears were escaping my eyes and I couldn't stop them.
"babe please don't.."
"don't. don't call me that. don't even think about it. get your stuff and leave."
it was silent. I only heard her picking some pieces out of the bedroom. it wasn't much though. I held her the door open. I just wanted to be on my own. as she was about to go out she turned around.
"I really didn't want it to end like that. I really love.."
before she could end her sentence I interrupted her.
"just fucking go now. oh and congrats for the baby." I slammed the door. a loud bang. that was it. silence filled the room again. I hated it. thoughts were going crazy in my head. too many voices. I knew exactly what would help. and thankfully I'm the owner of a bar. alcohol will help me to forget this. I went into the bathroom and tried to make myself look acceptable before I went down. everything was cleaned up and Peter was playing with Jamie.
"thank you Peter. I really appreciate that."
"no problem Pip. I know you'd have done the same." he smiled at me and I managed to mirror it.
without another word I head for the bar and poured me a drink. I didn't pay attention to the kind of drink I just grabbed a bottle.
"is it that bad?" he asked.
before I respond I dawned my glass.
"I was the side chick and an adventurous variety in her odd life. now she forms a family with her fiancee."
"ouch."
I nodded and downed the second glass. after the sixth or what ever one he stopped me.
"I'll bring Jamie home. you go upstairs and don't do anything stupid okay?"
