~ It Never Should've Been ~ One Direction Fan Fiction ~

~ Chapter 45 - Feeling Beautiful ~*

After the ceremony ended, I wiped my tears away, and stood up, Niall beside me. He wrapped an arm around my waist, and I leaned into him, watching the casket, even though nothing was happening to it.

Finally, it was my turn to pay my final respects and I stepped up to the casket, Niall a few steps behind me. He wanted me to be there alone.

I walked up to it, and murmured, "It wasn't your turn Jayda. It wasn't. You are the most deserving person in the world to live and it should've been me, not you. And once you get to heaven, keep look over me. And if you can, let me know you're there. And I'll know it's you. I promise."

I stayed quiet for one more second before breaking out crying. I fell to my knees, sobbing, attracting the attention to everyone still on the room.

Niall quickly came to me, murmuring, "Just relax, I have you." He picked me up, bridal style, making sure he had a grip on my dress so you couldn't see up it and quickly took me to the back of the room and we sat in a couch back there.

I leaned into Niall's neck and cried, letting everything from the past few days come out.

"Shhh," Niall murmured, gently rubbing my back, "It's okay. It's okay."

I tried my hardest to believe it, but at that moment, I just couldn't. I continued to cry for a few more minutes, before there were no more tears to fall.

I leaned back off Niall and starting wiping my eyes, "Oh great. My makeup is running isn't it."

"You look beautiful as always," Niall confirmed and held my face with his hands, using both of his thumbs to wipe my cheeks free of tears and black streaks.

I snorted softly, "Not true, but thanks anyways."

"I'm serious," he said, givign a soft smile. "You are gorgeous." He leaned forward slowly and gave my lips a gentle kiss.

I let him and pulled back when he did.

"You should probably go and say goodbye to your parents, Kegan and Grant. I heard that they couldn't stay long after the service."

I nodded and slid off his lap, adjusting my dress. Niall stood up next to me and we walked out into the lobby, where sure enough, they were all waiting.

I went to my mum first, "Bye Mum. I wish you could stay longer."

"Me too, darling," she said and we hugged. Once we pulled away, I went to my dad.

"Bye, Dad."

"Bye, hun. But, is that your boyfriend? Isn't he in that band you and Jayda liked?"

I chuckled, "Mum will tell you later, okay?"

He gasped, "You won't tell your own dad about your love life."

"Nope," I joked and hugged him once more before turning to Grant.

"Bye, Ellie," he said as we hugged.

"Bye, Grant," I said and as we broke apart, he kissed my cheek, earning a small glare from Niall.

Finally, I turned to Kegan, who stood waiting. "Bye, Mr. Kegan."

"Bye, Mrs. Ellie," he returned with a toothy grin and I hugged him, getting down on his level so it would be easier to hug. "And keep Niall as your boyfriend. I like him."

I laughed, "Of course, Mr. Kegan."

"I'm gonna miss you," he murmured and hugged me tighter.

"Me too. If you need me, remember I'm only a phone call away."

"Okay!" he smiled and let go, running over to Mum.

All four of them waved once more and walked out the door, leaving only Niall, Harry, Louis, Zayn, Liam, and I in the funeral home.

I turned around and all the boys pulled me into a group hug, which I was glad for. No more tears fell, though it was comforting. After a minute, I pulled away and looked at Niall.

"I just want to go home."

He nodded and he mumbled a farewell to the others before walking with me to the van.

We both hopped in and buckled up, driving back to the flat.

We arrived there quickly and I got out, taking off my heels before I walked in. They were actually very painful.

I walked in barefoot to the flat, not bothering to wait for Niall to join me. I went straight in to the couch, throwing my clutch ont the table next to me. I curled into a ball, leaning against the arm rest and closed my eyes.

I heard Niall come into the room and he came around to the couch and sat down next to me. He reached down and took of his shoes, putting them on the floor and then took off his blazer, draping it on the back of the couch.

Next, he rolled up his sleeves, just past his elbows, and took off his tie, placing it with his blazer.

Finally beind comfortable, he reached over to me and rolled me so he could hold me in his lap. I allowed him too.

I looked forward as he messed with my hair and finally held something in front of my face. It was the rose mum put there.

I smiled slightly and took it from Niall's hand, holding it to my face so I could smell it. After I did, I sat up, and turned so I could look at him.

I reached over and put it behind his ear, making him smile.

"Does this make my butt look big?" he asked.

I laughed, "Nope. You look perfectly Niall sized."

"Good," he smiled and his fingers went back to my hair. Niall started taking out all the crystalized bobbypins out of my hair, placing them next to my clutch.

After they were all out, he let my hair down, so it was in large waves.

"No, stop," I said quietly, but Niall didn't stop.

He reached over to the table and grabbed a few tissues that were in a box, sitting there.

Niall started gently wiping at my eyes and lips, taking off the remaining makeup I had on.

"Stop," I said, turning my head away when there was nothing left on my face.

"Why?"

"Because. I need something on. Concealer."

"Why?" he asked again.

"Because. From all this crying, my face is awful."

Niall gently grabbed my face, making me look at him. But when I tried to turn away, he held on tighter, so I couldn't.

"Don't you ever think of yourself as awful, unattractive, or anything except beautiful. You are one of the most gorgeous girls I have ever met and have one of the most gorgeous personalities I have ever seen."

I wouldn't let myself look at him. "You're just saying that."

"You don't believe me?"

I slightly shook my head.

Niall sighed and pulled my head closer to his. "Your nose is beautiful." He kissed the tip of my nose. "Your eyes are beautiful." He gently kissed each clsoed eyelid. "Your cheeks are beautiful." He kissed each cheek. "Your ears are beautiful." He kissed each ear. "Your lips are beautiful." He moved to my lips and placed his lips on mine, and leaving them there.

We stayed that way for awhile, just sitting there, liplocking. But, for some reason. I believed him. Being with Niall, made me feel pretty.