Love Live x Reader [Closed Request]

Nishikino Maki x Suicidal Female Reader

Warning:
commiting suicide is not a joke, neither do I want to write a story about it but because of this request I will have to warn you that, this one-shot obviously have many sensitive topics especially for those whom are suicidal.

"you're a failure"

"ow!" you wince when you felt the string of your guitar harshly touching the skin of your thumb, it started bleeding so you stopped. 

"(Your Name)!" your band leader yelled, you stared to your bleeding thumb without any care about your surrounding but you came back to your sense when your band leader pushed you hard. you look over to her, she look mad and her face was getting red.

she yelled at you for ruining the rehearsal but you couldn't care less, "what happened to you?" your band mate friend asked but you didn't answer. you only look to her and forced a smile, "nothing happened".

you walked home alone after excusing yourself, your band leader was nice too but she really wanted to make the performance worth it. but you failed again, you didn't know why you felt like that.

the last month was that time your band failed again because of you.
the audience who wanted to interview your play talk you into every of your mistake— even though they must just want to see you play better next time.

"but it's hopeless.. "

on the next day

you went to the university, you're enrolled in a music college because it was your dream. a dream you wanted, you dream to play a music because that's what you said.

after the day, you planned hanging out with your band mate who was worried, so you agreed since you didn't want to worry her. eventually the place you'll go to is a little bit far from your town.

"Akiba What?" , "You no— I mean yes since you always play your guitar every single decades then let's go to somewhere new" your eyes twitched when she cutted herself off from calling you a normie, but yeah, you're not that interested in Anime— or even from a place that sells lot of Anime Merch. but whatsoever you're still going with your weabo friend, whether you wanted to say no.

putting down the phone as you sat down in your bed, you look at the ceiling and space out again.

"why did it turn out like this?"

you snapped suddenly when you heard a knock, "(Your name)!" you opened the door to see your mother, she has a worried look on her face.

'not only you're a failure in music, but you're also failing on your marks' your mother talked to you about your marks in your college but you didn't have any respond.

"why are you being like this?", she asked yet a smile crept up to your face, "don't worry, mom. I'll fix it" and she left even though she was not reassured.

"I don't want to force you"

WEEKEND

'every place is slowly becoming colorless for no reason, I'm getting lost in my own thoughts and I'm hearing voices in my head.'

"Hey (Your Name)!" Your friend called out to you, she was waving her hand while running towards you. you smiled when she was smiling, you can't ruin her day, you don't want her to worry about your feelings.

"Anyways let's go to this cafe.. " she started while showing a plier, she seems happy.. so you just nodded and follow to wherever she goes.

"that was a great experience!" (Your Friend's Name/Any name)  said as she leaned her head to her arm, she grinned then look at you. "Yeah, it was" you replied, you really did enjoy hanging out again with her.

while you were walking, you look forward to suddenly bumped to a red head. "hey, look where you're going geez.. " the voice said, your ear perk up abbit.

'that voice sound relaxing— I feel like it was singing when it just said a word'

you look at the person you bumped to, her eyes were amethyst color and her hair was short but also a little bit curly, other than that she look beautiful. "why are you staring at me like that, weirdo?" the girl said while standing up.

but there was no reply coming from you, she grew frustrated but she held her hands toward you. you look at her hand then to her feature, her cheek was growing pink because of embarrassment. you stiffled a laugh and grab her hand, "thank you.. "

'when I wanted to die today, my mind changed because I met you'

"Congrats (Your Name)!"

your live performance went well, you manage to study because Maki was there. Everything went well after that accident, isn't it funny even though it was just an accident.. you two felt that fate has decided to brought you together.

even though I didn't believe that someone would accept me, someone will make me feel like this.. the feeling of changing for the person you were meant to be with.

tears swelling down, and the situation you're in.. it ended just the way it is, You committed suicide.

"I'll follow you, Maki"

Your bestfriend cried in front of your dead body, she saw you hanged on the loose already. even though you manage to graduate, your girlfriend couldn't make it after the car crash.

R

equested by Yasuhiro_19