CSI:New York : Who Are You? (Don Flack/OFC fanfic)

The Standoff

Olivia had been living in a fragile state for years. She was constantly on the edge of a breakdown; struggling to let go of her past and embrace her future. Her work as a Crime Scene Investigator wouldn't allow her to do that. Some might argue why choose a career where you were reminded constantly, others might call it therapy. Olivia had known from a young age that forensics was her calling. The murder of her brother and sister at the hands of their mother's abusive second husband had made her even more determined to succeed on her chosen path. Her burning need to know everything, to find the evidence that would put another monster behind bars, had taken over her life. For each one she helped to put away, she got another tiny piece of that shattered life back.

Mac's blue eyes tracked her every emotion, waiting for her next move. Before joining the force Mac Taylor had been an officer in the Marine Corps. They were well trained, ever watchful, ever attentive and very controlled. Olivia supposed that played an important part as to why in the three months she'd been at the New York Crime Lab she had never seen him lose it with a suspect, no matter how bad the case - not once. He kept his emotions intact, his Marine training had taught him well. Olivia wished she could be as detached. But that wasn't to say that when he was alone that he didn't mull things over. There were many things she didn't know about Mac Taylor. She couldn't deny being her usual curious self at what went on behind those eyes. What horrors he must have seen, during both his time as a Marine and a CSI. She would never readily admit it, but she admired and respected him, and knowing he had given her a chance when others had written her off had made her fiercely determined to never let him down. Which was probably what she was doing right now. But she couldn't help how she felt and she couldn't let it go.

"She was just a baby, Mac. Six years old," she implored. In a sense, she was asking for an absolution and she knew she was asking the wrong person for it; but Mac was there and for that moment she felt connected to him in this.

"I know," he said understanding. "But it's over, Olivia. Our job is done. You can't let it go on."

"You're telling me to give up."

"I'm telling you the case is closed. Don't look for any more evidence than we already found. It isn't there."

"I'm never going to stop looking and I'll never give up. The day I do - I'll no longer be doing this job. One of the reasons I do this work is because I want to make a difference."

"And you do," Mac said. "You can't underestimate what you've achieved on this case. Just as you can't underestimate bringing Emily Graham's family justice."

"Because justice is blind and the evidence speaks for itself," she said bitingly. Mac looked at her, an emotion playing across his face that she couldn't quite comprehend.

"There comes a point when you have to realize that you've done all you can," he said. "You can't take on the weight of the world."

"I can give it a damn good try." She turned and made for the door.

"Olivia."

"I have some processing - "

"It can wait," he said sternly. "I hadn't finished."

She turned back. Mac sighed inwardly at the resistance and frustration he read in her face. He understood her driven need to get justice for victims and their families. In all his years as a CSI he had never stopped looking and fighting, but he knew when to give up. Everything is connected that was Mac's motto. But that didn't necessarily mean it would bring the clues and evidence that every CSI hoped for.

"We're scientists. We search for evidence and we process it. Whatever comes next is out of our hands," he reminded.

"And the evidence is all there," Olivia protested. "Stella and me, we found it. I don't understand how any court in this state can not look at all the evidence against Peter Hamill and still let him go."