CSI:New York : Who Are You? (Don Flack/OFC fanfic)

Come To Be

Danny swirled the dregs in his coffee mug and yawned loudly. It was Monday night and he and Olivia were in the break room, both were only two hours into their shift and so far things had been relatively quiet. Hawkes and Lindsay had paired up with Stella on a potential first degree arson case where the charred remains of two bodies had been discovered and had left the break room only moments earlier. From across the table Olivia, cradling her own mug, arched a quizzical eyebrow in Danny's direction.

'Need a refill there, Messer?' she asked.

He flashed her a grin before raking a hand over his face. 'This is my fourth graveyard this week. I swear, Mac's gunnin' for me.'

It was her third. 'He must have it in for all of us.' She took a sip of coffee. 'I never sleep anyway, may as well be here.'

'Ain't that the truth,' agreed Danny. 'Sugar levels are screaming at me.' He got up and fed the vending machine with coins. A silver wrapped Twinkie bar fell into the barrel below.

'Hydrogenated vegetable fat and sugar is just what I need, too.'

'You want?'

'I want.'

'On me.' He fed more coins into the machine. It spat out another Twinkie and he tossed it to her before sitting back down. They had just unwrapped their Twinkie bars when the break room door opened and Mac came in. 'Hey, boss,' greeted Danny, 'got some work for us?'

'Dispatch just called in a DB in Hudson Heights. I don't have any details. Flack's waiting for you both,' Mac informed them. 'I've a meeting with Chief Sinclair that I can't get out of. So it's all yours.'

Danny gave Olivia a wink. 'Looks like it's you and me again, Duke,' he said swinging himself up out of the chair. 'Good cop, bad cop?'

Olivia's look was heavy-lidded. 'When we're done, trade in the DVD player and get a real life, Messer.'

Danny chuckled as he left the break room.

'He gives you any trouble, you let me know,' Mac told her, smiling.

'I can handle him,' she said, following Danny out of the room.

'I don't doubt it for a second.'

Mac watched the pair disappear down the corridor, munching on their Twinkie bars. Their conversation was indistinct, but above the hum of lab equipment and a muffled shot from Ballistics, he heard Olivia groan and then laugh. No doubt Danny was cracking one of his many - and sometimes terrible - jokes.

It was good to hear her laugh again. It had only been a few days since the night in her apartment when she had cried in his arms. Afterwards, he had expected her to feel somewhat embarrassed, uncomfortable, but she hadn't. Strangely enough, neither had he. Olivia had, however, been in a state of shock. Knowing what she had done and the huge step she had taken - albeit unwittingly - and afterward he had known how deeply significant it had been.

She had fallen apart in front of him but only because she had trusted him.

This was as important for him as it was for her. He understood that. Over the last few days he had dealt with it. He had always felt that connection there between them. But he hadn't understood the depth of that connection until that night. Because what he was still struggling to come to terms with, was the way it had felt holding Olivia in his arms.

Even now he could smell the clean, freshness of her hair, the scent of faint perfume on her skin. Her body, soft and warm, pressed against his. It had been a long time since he had held a woman, since he had even remembered how a woman's body could feel and it had sparked something inside of him. A part of him he thought had died long ago. A part of him he thought had died with Claire.

She had cried into his chest and he had just held her. Nothing more. No words. There had been no need for anything, just a silent understanding. A silent empathy. She had needed him. And it had been so long since he had been needed. Since he had felt that after five long, lonely years, maybe everything would be fine.

That he was whole again.

Mac sighed deeply. This was ridiculous. It was beyond ridiculous. Why was he thinking this way? What was wrong with him? He had been helping an employee. A friend. It had been a touch. Only a touch. A simple and innocent touch. And yet...it had opened a floodgate inside of him. How had this even happened? More to the point...why?

All these years he had lived for his work, allowed nothing to get in the way of that and when Claire died he had thrown himself deeper and deeper into that work. He had never paid any attention, nor shown interest in any woman in five years. He couldn't. Claire had haunted his memory for so long. And now, ironically enough, it's with a woman who is more like him than he could ever have believed possible. A woman who shared his passion for work, for science, for uncovering the truth. A woman as driven and committed as he. A woman who was as devoted to her work as he was. Who's made her work her life. Who hasn't let anyone in, hasn't let anyone get close to her.

A kindred spirit.

Mac let go of a restless sigh. He tried to reason with himself. It didn't matter how connected he felt to her, she was an employee and he was her boss. She had turned to him for comfort, nothing more; and because it had been so long since he had felt the touch of a woman, he knew because of that he was reading too much into it. For Olivia, the connection had been innocent and somewhat essential. For him, it had awoken feelings that had lay dormant for so long.

He remembered feeling afraid, knowing that she was allowing him the closeness. Knowing because of it he could get close to her, too. If he allowed that feeling to take over...well, he wouldn't. It would be wrong in so many ways. He couldn't allow anything to get in the way of his work. He was supervisor of this lab and because of his position of authority he had to forget what had happened that night, to switch off any feelings he may have experienced; something that Stella often said he was a master of.

But he wondered how he could do that now he had experienced something he thought he never would again. He had felt himself change. Over the last few days he had caught himself watching her in the lab, at a crime scene and he could actually feel himself shift and grow. That one touch had changed everything. He was becoming a man he hadn't known or seen in years.

Whatever it was, he told himself, it was gone and he would never feel it again. He wouldn't allow himself. His professional and personal status wouldn't allow him.

He left the break room and made his way back towards his office where he was meeting with Sinclair in less than ten minutes, trying hard to concentrate only on that.

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COPYRIGHT. © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Debra Jay. 2006