Beautiful Remains

"I Said I Loved You As I Left You"

A year later

I roll over, the sun beaming in through my curtains. I sigh and check the time, 11:38am.

I sit up and stretch, putting my feet to the ground. I get up and put on a shirt and shorts, walking downstairs. I grab a mug and pour some coffee in it.

I go and sit down on the couch, opening my laptop. Today is the day that Andy's band release their first album. I should call them Black Veil Brides instead of Andy's band.

I scroll through Youtube and search up Black Veil Brides.

I find them and go through their videos, which is just their album audios. I listen to them all.

The Outcast (Call to Arms)
We Stitch These Wounds
Beautiful Remains
Children Surrender
Perfect Weapon
Knives and Pens
The Mortician's Daughter
All Your Hate
Heaven's Calling
Never Give In
Sweet Blasphemy
Carolyn

I smile, wow. They created something amazing, I have no words to explain how proud I am of them.

They set their mind to what they wanted and they achieved it.

I hope they're all doing good, none of them called or texted me since they left. They were probably just busy with the album and getting settled.

I miss all of them terribly, I wonder how Jake is doing after our break up. There isn't a day that passes that I don't think and miss them.

I go through the songs and I frown. I frown because I see the song The Mortician's Daughter and and I know who that's about. 

I listen to the song.

I open my lungs dear
I sing this song at funerals... no rush.
These lyrics heard a thousand times, just plush.
A baby boy you've held so tightly,
This pain it visits almost nightly
Missing hotel beds, I feel your touch.

I will await dear, a patience of eternity, my crush.
A universe so still.
No rust.
No dust will ever grow on this frame,
One million years, and I will say your name.
I love you more than I can ever scream.

We booked our flight those years ago,
I said I loved you as I left you.
Regrets still haunt my hollow head,
But I promised you that I will see you again, again.

I sit here and smile dear.
I smile because I think of you and I blush.
These bleeding hollow dials, this fuss.
A fuss is made of miles and travel
Roadways are but stones and gravel.
A bleeding heart can conquer every crush.

We booked our flight those years ago
You said you loved me as you left me.
Regrets still haunt your saddened head,
But I promised you that I will see you.

We booked our flight those years ago
I said I loved you as I left you
Regret's no longer in my head,
But I promised you and now I'm home again, again, again, I'm home again, again, again.

I'm home again.

He wrote a song about saying goodbye to Scout. He.. He told her he loved her, when he didn't even know her that much.

I feel angry, I feel hurt, annoyed, but mostly I just feel sad. Sad that I didn't mean enough to him for him to keep in contact with me, or write a song for me.

I'm not saying that; A) he has to talk to me all the time, but it'd be nice for him to talk to me sometime now since we don't see each other anymore; and B) that he has to write a song for me, I'm not saying that at all.. But it just bothers me that I was Andy's best friend for 18 years, and he writes a song for some girl he met just a year ago and they didn't even get a good chance to know each other.

Just listening to his voice while singing that song.. He sounds so sincere, he's putting everything into singing it. I guess Scout meant more to him than me.

I watch their music video for Perfect Weapon.. Wow, Andy changed a lot.

His hair went from shoulder length, bangs all in his eyes to long hair, bangs still in his face. He wears a lot of leather, all of them do, now he wears a lot of make up, so does the rest of them.

Jake, CC, Ashley, and Jinxx hasn't changed as much, they still look great as ever.

I watch as Andy lip sings to the song, I watch as  their fans head bang and enjoy being in the video.

I look at the crowd of fans and notice something. It's the guy who played young Andy in the Knives and Pens video.

I search their band up on Google and scroll through the pictures.

They really do wear a lot of make up and leather. Lots of skinny jeans, Andy even got a nose piercing.

I now notice that they all got more tattoos. I guess they all have changed.

The whole album is just a piece of art, even the song for Scout.