i shouldn't even have a list but i do
•before i was born i tangled the umbilical cord around my neck, "unintentionally" creating a makeshift noose. my mom had to get a c-section before i could kill myself (suicidal since before i was born. iconic.) good thing they did tho, because i had a fucked up tear duct that needed surgery. basically the first few months of my life were in and out of the hospital.
•in the fifth grade i drove a go-kart on a dirt track. it was on top of a cliff that overlooked a trench filled with poison oak, snakes, and other things that could kill you if you fell in. anyway i was driving around in the go-kart and i realized i was driving a little too close to the edge of the cliff. i though to myself "oh i should hit the brakes" so of course i SLAMMED MY FOOT INTO THE ACCELERATOR. luckily there was a ton of hay barrels that i drove into. if it wasn't for them i would have gone over the edge.
•sometime between fourth and sixth grade i went to the park. a thing my brother and i loved to do was swing on the branches of a tree. what we didn't know, however, was that one of the branches we were swinging on was supporting a wasp nest. the branch broke, and every wasp in that hive ruthlessly attacked us. we went to the hospital. LUCKILY we somehow survived, obviously.
•i know for a fact that there is more but i can't remember rn.
•i think i survived a car crash when i was a toddler??? idk
