Best Insults Comebacks & More

Puns

1.

Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches you down there say "stop".

Girl: But Mom, he touched both so I said "don't stop".

2.

What part of a football ground is never the same? 

The changing rooms.

3.

I am the ghost of Christmas Future Perfect Sub-juncture: I will show you what would have happened were you not to have changed your ways!

4.

My IQ test results just came in and I'm really relieved. Thank God it's negative.

5. 

My wife probably tells me that I never listen toher.