1.
One day a man was skipping stones and eating a sandwich along the beach. He tossed his sandwich into the water and bit the rock. He stiffened on the outside and continued walking but on the inside he was dying as he realized what he had just done.
2.
Person 1: You're not special for reading the great Gatsby, we all went to high school.
Person 2: Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had.
Person 1: Okay... I was just making a joke.
Person 2: So was I, that's the first line of the book.
Person 1: What. I didn't read the book
3.
Jeff: Can I ask you something without you getting offended.
Girl: Are you going to ask me something offensive?
Jeff: Why do most Indian girls have such a stick up their ass. Obviously not you but I don't see you as an Indian girl because you're in a whole other league.
Girl: Why don't you see me as an Indian girl that's literally what I am Like Jeff are you kidding me
Jeff: You're offended I knew this would happen
5.
Christian: The guy who scored for Algeria is called Islam Silmani. I don't understand why parents have to push their religion onto their children like that!
Person 2: Yeah- you're absolutely right CHRISTIAN
Christian: Why did you capitalize my name like that?
Person 2: OMG
6.
Guy: I'll wear pads with you during your period so you won't feel like you're going through it alone #PerksOfDatingMe
7.
Watching the Titanic, such a beautiful movie it always gets me. Makes me wanna go on a cruise like that one day
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