Savage Stories

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1.

My parents recently retired. Mom always wanted to learn to play the piano, so dad bought her a piano for her birthday.

A few weeks later, I asked how she was doing.

"Oh, we returned the piano." said my dad, "I persuaded her to switch to a clarinet instead."

"How come?" I asked.

"Because," he answered, "with a clarinet, she can't sing"

2.

"But officer," she said, batting her eyelashes. "I thought pretty women didn't get tickets."

"You're right," he said, scribbling a note onto the ticket he was writing out.

Ripping it from the ticket pad, he handed it to her with a smile.

"They don't."


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