1.
Passing an exam three patients in a mental institution prepare for an examination given by the head psychiatrist. If the patients pass the exam, they will be free to leave the hospital. However, if they fail, the institution will detain them for five years.
The doctor takes the three patients to the top of a diving board looking over an empty swimming pool and asks the first patient to jump.
The first patient jumps head first into the pool and breaks both arms.
Then the second patient jumps and breaks both legs.
The third patient looks over the side and refuses to jump.
"Congratulations! You're a free man. Just tell me why didn't you jump?" asked the doctor.
To which the third patient answered, "Well Doc, I can't swim?"
2.
A fellow took his girlfriend to the movies.
During the preview, she asked him if he would go and buy her some M&MS.
When her returned with her candy, she opened the bag and picked out all the brown ones and threw them away.
"What did you do that for?" he asked her.
"I'm allergic to chocolate!" she said.
3.
An English man, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling.
The juggler notices that the four gentleman have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out,
"Can you all see me now?"
"Yes" "Oui" "Si" "Ja"
(read in corresponding accents)
YOU ARE READING
Best Insults Comebacks & More
RandomLooking for something to waste your time with?? All the best insults, comebacks, pick up lines, pun, silly stories, savage burns, stupid questions, cringe worthy moments.. Enter at your own risk.
