1.
Person 1: *Wears black*
Person 2: Who died?
Person 1: Your intelligence.
2.
*2 people are eating soup together, the first spills it over them*
Person 1: Oh no! I look like a pig.
Person 2: Yes and you've got soup all over yourself.
3.
*Person 1 points out something that they failed at*
Person 2: In a hundred years it won't matter, it barely matters now.
4.
I look forward to reading your obituary.
5.
Well I can't exactly insult your intelligence when you clearly don't have any.
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