STRAY ✈︎ kdn | ✔︎

❧ forty - nine

today was cold, i like the cold but i also hate the cold. i don't know if anyone else understands me. christmas has passed bye bye i'm so sad well if i go in chronological order daniel's birthday passed well actually we started therapy. that happened first. 

i was totally skeptical i hate opening up to people. but lucky for me the lady i talked to was nice and i was able to talk to literally open up to her. i told her about how i seemed to always see myself killing junhee is it an illusion? maybe a dream? i'm scared. 

it was my first time killing someone and i guess i just have to remember it. i then told her about my worries about daniel. i had so many worries going into this relationship, he's an amazing person. he's also really nice and understanding. 

but he puts so much effort into his job, aka the reason why i was rejected in the beginning. i just if i see him getting hurt i'll get torn a part. even though on one of our earlier meetings he did get shot to protect me. 

i can't break up with him it's too well mean. everyone told me he needs someone like someone he can rely on without having to put up a facade and act different. i value that, i also spoke to her about seongwoo and haknyeon. 

let's start with seongwoo, recently after coming home utterly drunk seongwoo had told me he liked me. i was shocked but not really shocked.. you know? he knew i couldn't return his feelings because i was obviously in a relationship. 

i did want to know why? why was someone attracted to me? i mean i got daniel he told me. i was the youth he never had. which is cute, but i hate breaking a heart. the thing is seongwoo told me with a broken heart. you see if i could duplicate myself just so he can be happy i would. 

he's a great man really. 

someone treat him well.. please

and haknyeon, ever since he quit the council he blatantly ignores me. but in class he stares at me like he wants to speak to me. my heart breaks because this is avi haknyeon stopping himself. real haknnyeon would smile and love to talk to me. 

i hope he too finds someone, i saw his feelings it's quite easy. as someone who has had a one sided unrequited love i could relate. 

sorry niel 

but i could. he's so sweet and caring despite knowing i'm in the 101. i'm sorry joo haknyeon, you're a real great person thank you for sparing my life. 

speaking of the 101 i've started to go on jobs related and unrelated to the 101 despite daniel's protests. they don't include physical work, everyone knows i can only pick locks and well be smart. 

i've started negotiating, it's quite a ride. i join the travel elite team here and there. they're really nice. minhyun often joins us, by often he uses me as an excuse to see the t.e. 

i like negotiating, i can finally use my blabber in a good way. 

well what else?

daniel's birthday! 

it never bothered me that daniel was born in 1996 and i was born in 1998. it literally was okay with me. the boys thought it was funny, because apparently  he is a noona killer. 

don't want to take that in a bad way because he is in the mafia. 

covering my bases you know. 

well i was really scared because i didn't know what to get him, his rich ass said not to get him anything and that my love was his present.