Friends.

Chapter 66

“You’ve come a long way kid.” Niall leans back in the chair across from me, his tone light, funny and full-of-wisdom simultaneously.

“Really? You don’t think I’m a complete idiot for forgiving him?”  He’d nodded, gasped, and laughed while I explained everything to him.

“I don’t know if you really have forgiven him.” Niall says without hesitation.

“What do you mean? Of course I have, why would I be here if I hadn’t?” I scoff, thinking he must be joking.

“Well I think you want to, but just the way you were talking, it doesn’t sound like you have, like there’s something holding you back.”
‘Yeah probably the force field I built around my heart to ward off members of one direction…It’s not very strong clearly.”  I joke, but there’s a serious undertone.

“Clearly. Why haven’t you forgiven him? I mean you’re with him, I just don’t understand why you would be if you don’t forgive him for breaking your heart?” He asks, a perplexed look covering his face as he takes a bite of his burger.

I take a deep breath, “I thought…I thought that when I saw him, it would all just melt away and I would be able to forgive him, but it doesn’t work like that. I wholeheartedly want to be with him, don’t get me wrong, I just wish he never hurt me as much as he did, because part of me just refuses to let him in that little bit further. When I’m around him, I’m so happy, but then I over think it when I’m alone.”

“For crying out loud Lola, stop getting in your own way!” Niall sighs in frustration.

“That’s what Linda said.” I huff, fiddling with my straw as I take a sip of the bloody Mary in front of me, daytime drinking sounded like a good idea at the time but I don’t think my stomach can handle the potency of this drink.

“Well Linda is right, and you’re insane. You’ve been obsessed with Harry for months, possibly years subconsciously and now you finally have him can’t you just be happy?” He shakes his head at me and I groan, burying my head in my hands then raking my fingers through my hair.

“I am! I am happy. I just wish that when he tells me he loves me I could think of something other than whether he’s lying or not. And I wish I could be with him in front of people, and not have to see my ex every day if I want to spend time with Harry. I guess I thought when we finally got together everything would just fall into place and it hasn’t. This isn’t a movie where after the big reunion everything is perfect, as much as I wish it was, this is going to be really hard. And I don’t know how long I can stay in Australia, I have meetings in New York soon, but I can’t leave yet, I just got him I’m not ready to let go again!” I huff, downing the rest of the bloody Mary.

“Relationships aren’t easy.” Is all Niall has to say.

“Enough about me, what about you? Any girls on the scene?”

“Nope, free as a bird, just the way I like it.” He smirks.

“I’ll drink to that!” I clink my now empty glass against his.

After lunch with Niall in the hotel Restaurant, I make my way back to Harry’s room, so that we can get ready to go to the airport for our flight to Ed’s concert.

“I just don’t know how you can trust her after everything she’s done.” I hear a thick accent that I instantly recognise as Lou’s. (Teasdale)

Everything I’ve done? What the fuck? I stop myself from walking further into the hotel room and letting my presence knowing, instead hovering behind a wall and listening to their conversation. I have done nothing, he broke my heart. I grit my teeth in anger, my fingers clenching into a fist by my side.