Friends.

Chapter 32

As much as I'm trying to be fine about this whole Harry situation, there's constantly a gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach. I'm draining alot of my emotional energy by trying to ignore it and it's at the point where I feel as though I'm going slightly insane. But there's nothing else I can do. I just have to focus on the positives, like how proud I am of myself for handling it like this and not letting it consume me. I feel really cute today, in my blue skirt, white blouse and blue ribbon tied around the collar. Nothing like a good outfit to boost my mood. 

Even the sun is shining today as I walk out of my apartment building to leave for work, the rays of Vitamin D shine down on me and fill me with something slightly resembling optimism. But it doesn't last long, my heart falls into the pit of my stomach when I see Harry leaning against a shiny silver porsche with the top down, wearing a grey sweater and dark denim jeans, that surpisingly aren't ripped for once. 

My breathing quickens as I approach him and search my mind for a witty insult that I can say as I walk past him. 

"A new car? How many starving African children could this one feed? I mean its nice, but its a bit feminine even for you." I say smugly, making brief eye contact and then walking straight past.

"Thats because its not for me. It's for you." He calls after me and I stop in my tracks, turning around to face him with a judgemental sigh. 

"You bought me a car?" I laugh curtly, looking it over critically to show him I'm less than impressed.

"Yep. 2014 Porsche 911 Turbo, only released a few weeks ago." He tosses me the keys and I catch them, throwing them straight back to him with extra force. 

"You did not seriously buy me a car." I say, my voice riddled with frustration. He clears his throat nervously, I love how intimidating I feel right now.

"Yeah I mean...I thought you'd like it." He shrugs.

"I don't want a car Harry! I have a car, a perfectly good car that I bought with my own money. I don't want anything from you. You clearly don't know me at all if you think you can buy me. I do not and have never cared that you're rich and famous, so you might not want to use that as a way to win me over, it will never work. And the fact that you didn't even realise that yourself, proves to me that you have no idea who I am and we have nothing in common." I say harshly. 

"Look I'm sorry okay, I'm running out of options! You won't talk to me long enough to let me explain." He runs his fingers through his hair in frustration. His jaw moves up and down, chewing gum as always.

"That's because you don't deserve my time. And stop chewing gum, it's so obnoxious!" I say and walk away from him, at this rate I'm going to be late to work. 

"You know you can't run away from me forever! I'll be waiting." He calls after me but I don't look back. It's kind of sweet that he would wake up early and wait outside my apartment building for me.

No it's not, nothing Harry does is sweet. It's all a lie. 

...

 Although it started off a bit rocky, my Friday is actually going okay since then. I went and got my prescription off Gab, picked up my tablets and had a relatively productive day at work. I'm still exhausted but hopefully once I start taking the tablets and eating more iron I will feel alot better. 

Mmm, Friday night alone with Marius, thank god for this silly little cat that came into my life right when I needed him. He's definitely the runt of his family because he's barely grown in all the time I've had him, I hope he doesn't get any bigger than this, he's still the size of a kitten and it's adorable. When did my life get so boring? Maybe I should see what Niall is doing and if he wants to hang out. Or Linda, but she's probably with Brad. Hm... I wonder around my apartment looking for something to do but nothing amuses me. The old me would read some boring law textbook...but that just doesn't appeal to me tonight. What I really want to do, if I admit it to myself, is see Louis. But I just can't bring myself to text him...I've typed 5 different messages and deleted them all. My finger has hovered above his name in my contact list for so long, so close to calling him but I just can't. I wouldn't even know where to begin. If I was him I probably wouldn't call me either. Brad said I should just go over there. Maybe I should. My heart is racing just at the thought, the butterflies in my stomach are fluttering rampantly and my mind is flicking through all the happy memories I had with him. A grin spreads across my face without my permission but I don't change it to a frown, Linda's right, just the thought of him makes my eyes light up.