Pain

54

Chanel)

I woke up to several calls and texts from my mom, and I rolled my eyes.

What a lovely thing to wake up to.

From, Judy Garfield:
Chanel, baby... I'm so sorry. Please come back home.

From, Judy Garfield:
Chanel, I'm begging you please come back home.

From, Judy Garfield:
Baby girl, I'm calling you.

The text after that was a ten minute difference.

From, Judy Garfield:
Get your ass down here rn, I s2g Chanel...

From, Judy Garfield:
I didn't mean that, please come home...

The rest were calls, but I shut off my phone, not intending to return any of them any time soon. I'm one to hold grudges. Especially for something as big as this.

"Hey, baby..." Louis cooed, as he tiptoed in the room. Although I didn't know why he was sneaking around, I was sure as hell glad because I had a killer headache.

"I'm guessing you haven't told your mother yet, about your condition.." Louis paused. "Conditions." Louis added. I rolled my eyes at the fact that he felt the need to blush, and scratch the back of his neck awkwardly.

"Listen Chanel." Louis sighed, but I started to take a turn for the worst. What if he breaks up with me? This can't end well if he started like that... I kept a straight face.

"I don't know how to say this." Louis avoided looking anywhere except in my eyes.

"You're breaking up with me?" My lip quivered. Of course I show weakness. I hate crying, but after all this he wants to leave me?

"What? Fuck, no. I just wanted to say that tomorrow we go too Manitoba. I don't think I'm allowed to smuggle you around the country, so I think we'll be apart for quite some time. We can keep in touch with our phones and stuff, I just thought I should let you know." He informed me, pecking my lips.

I know he felt bad leaving me after all of this, but it's his job. I understand it. I have to come to realization that I'm dating a world wide star, who travels a lot.

"can you drop me off at home tonight then? I have school work to do. Plus my session with Eva." I sighed, running a hand over my knotted hair. I should really brush through this rats nest...

I then remembered its a four hour drive, and I don't want to put Louis in a position like that.

"Never mind." I shook my head, and laughed. I got out from under the covers.

"Fuck, you're going to make it hard for me too leave if you keep going about like that." Louis whined, pointing at my legs.

Fuck. No pants.

I squeaked, and got some black skinny jeans from the drawer.

"I want too take you." Louis told me, once I put my pants on. I nodded, and smiled at him.

--

"Bye guys." I waved to the guys in the living room of the hotel.

"you're leaving?" Zayn whined, and I nodded laughing.

"So are you guys." I reminded them. "You better call me everyday." I added, meaning it. If they didn't I don't know what I would possibly do.

What am I going to say to my mother? No... Nothing. There is nothing too say. What could I possibly say to that women?

"We will." Liam smiled, walking over to me and engulfing me in a huge hug. After we were done hugging and obsessing over each other, harry grabbed my tiny suitcase filled with everything I brought over here, and we all walked to the car.

"Okay, you got everything you need?" Louis asked as we were walking out in the parking lot. I nodded, and held Louis' hand.

"Everything is fine. Don't worry about me." I said, meaning it in more than one way. He shouldn't worry about me while he is away, I'm sure I'll find some way to be happy, and he should know this.

I said one last goodbye to the boys, and Louis and I drove off.

--

"I love you so much." Louis mumbled into my hair, as he was hugging me in front of my front door. I said it back, hugging his waist and not intending to let go.

My 'hold it together, it will be fine' attitude is vanishing faster and faster, nearing the departure of Louis.

"Please, call me every night. I don't think I can ignore my mother for as long as I intend too, without your encouragement." I sniffled, smiling to make it seem more of a joke than a real statement.

I'm one to hold a grudge, but I also forgive way too quickly.

--

"Oh my god, you're home!" My mother shrieked once I stepped inside the house. I rolled my eyes, and tried to pry her off of me.

"You weren't answering my calls or texts, I was worri-" I cut off her insane words. She obviously doesn't care about me, she never has.

"Your words mean nothing too me, I'm only here until I turn 18 in under two weeks." I snapped at her, and walked upstairs into my room.

Once I sat comfortably in my computer chair, I pulled out my journal from Evangeline, and started to write another poem.

--

Journal entry #2

It's been a long time since I've written in this stupid thing, so I'll put every fiber in my being to make this the best out of the two entries. Here it goes,

You know that feeling? When you're just waiting. Waiting to get home, into your room, close the door, fall into bed, and just let everything out that you kept in all day. That feeling of both relief and desperation. Nothing is wrong, but noting is right either. And you're tired. Tired of everything, tired of nothing. You just want someone to be there and tell you it's all going to be okay. But no one is going to be there. And you know you have to be strong for yourself, because no one can fix you. You're tired of waiting. Tired of having to be the one to fix yourself and everyone else. Tired of being strong. And for once, you just want it too be easy. To be simple. For you to be helped. To be saved, but you know you won't be. You're still hoping, and you're still waiting, and you're still wishing, and you're still staying strong and fighting with tears in your eyes. You're fighting.

--

I drove over to my session with Eva.

--

[a/n: short chapter but the next one will be longer, guaranteed! ☺️]